‘I needed a moment with you to tell you that you are my inspiration.’ She pops a vitamin into her mouth and keeps going, chewing frantically. ‘Over these last months, you have become such a force in the office. But not like a Joan force; you’ve become a force for good. A summer breeze. And it has inspired me. Every night for the last two weeks I’ve been wandering around my apartment totally stark naked, except for my shower cap, trying to figure out what to do with my life. What my thing is. You!’ She points at me. ‘You’ve found your thing! You’re shining and happy! I want to be shining and happy too! Tell me how to be shining and happy!’

This is news to me, as I always saw Penny as the shinier, happier person out of the two of us.

‘Pen, the shine comes from my illuminating foundation.’ I joke in an effort to make her smile. I don’t want to downplay or ignore her, but it’s hard to tell if this is how she really feels, or if this is how she feels when she is fuelled by sugary vitamins and cheap, office-party alcohol. I make another internal note to block out some time to talk to Penny about this more seriously. And more soberly.

After making my mental note, a noise I’ve never heard before comes out of Penny. I would classify it as a groan made from a mix of exasperation and shame.

‘Also, I think I kissed Chris.’ I gasp in shock and I know the whites of my eyes are showing. ‘On the cheek! I’m not that drunk.’ She hangs her arms so they flop down on either side of her. ‘But I did also have the most awkward hug with Mansi after I told her I thought she was great and that I really admired her and thought she smelt nice, but she really isn’t a hugger. Then I got stuck in my costume.’

‘What? How did you get stuck in your costume?’

‘Well, I didn’t know how to leave the conversation with Mansi, and so I sat down on the floor, thinking it would be a funny way to escape.’ As she speaks she tries to recreate her movements. ‘My arms were kind of hugging my legs, and my legs were all tucked up inside the box, but then I couldn’t get up as I didn’t have room to manoeuvre my arms out, and there also wasn’t enough room to stand up with my arms in there, so I just scuttled around on the floor until I reached the stairs.’

I pass her some of the snacks I’ve been hiding in my costume.

‘I wish I had seen that.’

‘I wish you had too.’

CHAPTER 39

The fourth and final Games Night of the year is obviously always Christmas themed. My Christmas jumper is freshly washed but I’m struggling to feel in the mood for mince pies. I’m not sure if I can face seeing Peter this evening. He must be moving in a few weeks. I wouldn’t know; he still hasn’t told me.