I ask who’s going to the pub after work. Joan is the only definite. Penny is busy, and Emily has a date.

Still not ready to accept my fate and still determined not to text Peter, I meander through my phone and my recent messages, using it to jog my memory and remember what friends I actually have.

I don’t think I could handle more Tilly right now.

My mum and my brother are too far away.

Colin.

I could text Colin.

It’s been quite a while since he branded my neck, but since the spa day I’ve been following the beautician’s advice and have been keeping up my admin, meaning my vagina is prepared for visitors.

Why does Peter’s face loom in my mind every time I think of my vagina?

We’ve all heard the phrase, ‘If you want to get over him, you’ve got to get under someone else’.

I can do this.

He might even bring chicken.

CHAPTER 32

Colin’s knock comes sooner than I hoped it would, as I am currently in a downward swing of confidence, unsure if I’ve done the right thing inviting him over.

Knowing I can’t leave him outside (no matter how many excuses I come up with in my mind), I open the door.

‘Hi.’

‘I brought chicken.’

‘I thought I knew that smell.’ I’m impressed with my fake confidence.

He comes in, gives me a kiss that has more tongue in it than I would have chosen, and puts the chicken in the kitchen.

It isn’t a nice kitchen, and I only rent the apartment, but I really want to put the sweaty, greasy bag on a plate and preserve the nasty countertop that I am now apparently overprotective of.

But there’s no time; he turns around and heads towards me, his intent clear in his eyes. And because I’m pretending to be a confident sex-tress instead of someone who feels uncomfortable about where he put the chicken, I try to get my eyes to give him a sexy look.

He stops and leans down. I use his shoulders to steady me, and edge up on my toes. It’s quite awkward. Nothing like the dream with Peter.

Not the time, Bea. I really need to get him out of my head. Colin. Colin is here. Colin wants to have sex with me. I might want to have sex with Colin.

We kiss.

The angles are all a bit off. It isn’t giving me the tingles. It’s not that it’s bad, but it isn’t setting my world on fire.

Am I asking too much for my world to be set on fire?

It’s probably me; I am probably the reason my world isn’t currently on fire. I need to stop worrying and thinking, and instead allow my world to be set on fire. By Colin, the chicken man.

He breaks away quickly. ‘Let’s take this to the bedroom.’

I look towards the counter.

‘But the chicken will get cold.’

Apparently that isn’t a good enough reason. He smiles and guides me, a touch more aggressively than I am comfortable with, to the bedroom. He does have a nice smile, and he is a good kisser. And he did bring chicken. And I have nothing else to do. Let’s do this. Get under someone. I wonder if he will growl again.