‘Don’t,’ Susie cried, holding onto her middle, ‘I can’t laugh because pee comes out!’

And we both roared with laughter, clutching our bellies and trying not to follow in Joni’s footsteps by having a little ‘accident’ in a busy café.

As I walked home, I felt buoyed. Finally, this maternity-leave lark felt as though it was going to be fun. I was glad to have made some new friends in The Baby Group. We’d only known each other for a matter of weeks, but we had already shared so much. I hadn’t even had a chance to tell Tara the full birth story yet – she was so busy herself with two toddlers – but I’d discussed everything with The Baby Group. Sometimes Susie and I would be WhatsApping each other at 2 a.m., offering comfort and support in the small hours when it felt like we were the only people in London who were awake. It was only Lucy who seemed to have withdrawn slightly from the group. I had messaged her once to ask how it was going, but she’d only sent a short reply that all was fine.

Susie had mentioned that Lucy was having a tough time breastfeeding, so later that night – it must have been about midnight because I had just finished giving Joni a dream feed – having noticed Lucy was online, I decided to message her separately again.

Me: Hi, are you up?

Lucy: Yes, just about. You ok?

Me: Yes, all good, just given Joni her dream feed. How’s it going with you two?

Lucy: It’s tough, to be honest. Feeding is hard. Whatever I do, he just cries and cries.

Me: I’m sorry. Have you tried a bottle?

Lucy: He won’t take it.

Me: Is Oscar able to help?

Lucy: He’s in the spare room. He’s in a busy period at work so I’m trying not to disturb him.

Me: Two words – nipple guards. Meant to be good?

Lucy: Maybe. Anyway, I’m going to try to get some sleep.

Me: Sleep well. Maybe a coffee next week?

Lucy: I’ll give you a shout in a couple of weeks. I don’t want to bore you with my negativity.

I paused for a moment. Her tone seemed quite cold. Had I said something to upset her? We had been getting on so well. Meet up in two weeks? Two weeks was basically an eternity when you’re on maternity leave. I switched off my phone and placed it on the bedside table next to me, then I turned the light out. I lay in the darkness, thinking. I hoped she was okay.

The following morning, I showed Jason the thread. He brushed it off.

‘She was probably having a bad night. You said yourself that she’s quite stuck up. She’s high maintenance. Bit of jealousy too, perhaps,’ he said.

‘Jealous?’ I asked.

‘It wouldn’t be hard to be jealous of my beautiful wife and her brilliant boobs,’ he smiled. ‘You have taken to motherhood so naturally, I’m proud of you.’