‘Just a brief hello, we’ll stay for the ceremony and then go,’ Oscar said.

As we approached the group, Susie spotted us and came over.

‘Lucy, you came! It’s really lovely to see you,’ she exclaimed warmly. She had a red sun dress on.

‘This colour looks great on you,’ I told her.

My mind wandered back to that first Baby Group when I was hiding the biggest secret. The weight of it just as heavy as the nearly full-term baby inside me.

Helen came over to join us and I congratulated her on her obvious bump.

‘It’s very different, this pregnancy, not half as relaxing as the first time around,’ she said. ‘If only we were able to appreciate that at the time.’

I smiled in response. I had felt anything but relaxed during my pregnancy with Albie.

Sensing she may have unwittingly hit a nerve, she continued, ‘So have you got your publishing deal for a cookbook yet?’

‘Not yet,’ I said. ‘Even cooking has taken a back seat recently. These toddlers, they keep us too busy!’

I looked around to see where Oscar had got to with Albie and noticed Aisha, standing with Ian, Jason and Joni nearby. She paused and we locked eyes briefly. In that penetrating moment, her gaze upon my face, I wondered if she had received the note I posted through her door the day after the results came. Her face softened and the corners of her mouth turned up. I smiled back. In any other life I felt sure we could have been great friends.

Jason looked my way too, his green eyes shining as brightly as hers. They made such a strikingly handsome couple. He raised his hand to me in brief acknowledgement. It wasn’t an overly enthusiastic gesture, but it was friendly. An olive branch for sure. In that moment, he acknowledged everything that had been between us and the child we once conceived. The baby I lost over twenty years ago, but only mentally laid to rest recently.

It struck me how we were two people who had shared so much, but also so little. I realized that for all those years, I thought I was so in love with him, but really it was just the idea of being in love with him that I was so obsessed with. Jason was my first taste of love – but he was only a tiny sample of the love that was to come.

For so long I had ached to know whether I meant something to him – even if it was just the smallest amount, knowing this would have given me some comfort, closure. But I didn’t need to know now.

I cautiously smiled back, but was glad when Oscar returned to my side. I instinctively reached for his hand.

Oscar and I stayed for the ceremony and then Albie, becoming irritable because he needed his nap, gave us a reason to make a quick and quiet exit.

‘Nice enough bunch, but I’m not sure I particularly want to stay friends,’ he said.