The birth was natural and fairly straightforward (if you call straightforward watching Janet look like she was about to explode from pushing) and in a relatively short space of time they were in their Cortina driving little Eric back to their pebble-dashed semi in Essex. It might have offered me some comfort, if I hadn’t found it so funny.

I noticed that Susie seemed quiet, and also slightly uncomfortable this evening, holding onto her bump and wincing slightly through the video. I wondered if she was getting sympathy contractions.

‘Jeez,’ she muttered at one point. ‘To think I was considering foregoing the pain relief. I think I’ve just changed my mind.’

After we had finished discussing the film, Maggie started to explain what the partners could do in the immediate days ahead of the due date. I was relieved to see Jason taking the pad and pen from my lap and making notes, following Will and Christian’s lead. They were both scribbling away.

I peeked across to see what pearls of wisdom Jason had written down:

‘Things for Jason to do/think about’ – he had scrawled as a section head, underlining it. Underneath was a series of bullet points, many of which made me smile:

• Identify Aisha’s favourite foods/dinners
• Order frozen meals, and set up online shopping. Don’t forget savoy cabbage (for boobs)
• Get biscuits and coffee for visitors. Limit visitors in early days
• Remember Aisha’s favourite pillows when going to hospital – important
• Buy a sling, learn how to use it

I felt relieved that Jason was finally engaging today. This was, at least, a step in the right direction. A couple of times, I caught Helen looking at him. I noticed her pass Ian a pen, but he just fiddled with it.

Maggie held up a small white plastic instrument with a digital screen and a button halfway down. ‘Does anyone know what this is?’ she asked enthusiastically.

Will’s hand shot up. ‘Is it a kazoo?’ he asked.

This time it was Maggie’s turn to giggle. ‘Oh heavens, no dear, some of us have a lot to learn. This is a baby thermometer.’

Sometimes I got the impression Maggie despaired of this class.

Chapter Eighteen

Lucy

I lay in bed feeling anxious and burnt-out. At one point, I had had to make a sudden dash to the toilet, thinking I might be sick. I had looked in the bathroom mirror and seen that my face was pale and sweat was beading on my forehead.

I focused on breathing slowly; I didn’t want to alarm Oscar. He came into the bedroom to start packing for a trip to Paris the following morning – his final client foray before he went on baby lockdown. He pottered around the bedroom collecting things for his suitcase. I knew that case well – I had travelled halfway around the world with it on work trips when we were first seeing each other. I had even hurriedly packed it one morning when he feared his PA was on her way to our hotel room in Milan to give him some important documents and he bolted out of there as fast as possible to meet her from the cab. It wasn’t professional to be shagging the new account manager. The memory offered me a momentary reprieve from more pressing thoughts.