I felt resolute that I was the innocent party here and I wanted Jason out, for the time being at least, whatever the result of the test. How could I trust him again after such a huge betrayal? Perhaps I would be fine as a single mum. Tara had done a good job of drilling some courage into me; sending me regular texts of support and pictures of affirmations about finding inner strength and believing in myself. She was helping to reassure me that I had done absolutely nothing wrong, and time would help me to decide where my life was going to go from here, but not to make rash decisions or invite Jason back in before I was ready; to focus my energy on Joni.

Still, wherever I went, I kept feeling Lucy’s toxic presence. Occasionally I’d get a waft of that sickly sweet rose perfume she wore and I would turn sharply, my heart pounding, expecting to see her standing behind me, only to discover she wasn’t there at all, it was simply my own shadow.

That night, when she was asleep in her cot beside me, I tortured myself by staring at Joni and wondering whether she looked like Albie at all. Whether she could feasibly be his half-sister, based on their looks, as that was all I had to go on.

There was a similarity in their looks, well, as much as babies all look the same to some degree. But if you looked closer, they both had the same shade of brown hair and what you might describe as strong features. It gave me goosebumps.

I wondered how many times Lucy had done the same, and remembered how I had caught her looking at Joni so closely once in the café. I thought about the moment I had thrust Joni into her arms that time when I was trying to untangle the nappy bag. The fact she was someone I had considered trustworthy, that she had held my baby in her arms, made me shudder. How could she have been so brazen? Now it explained so much. She was scheming for certain, I just wondered how far she was planning to take this car-crash situation.

Chapter Forty-One

Lucy

It was Oscar’s birthday when I decided it was time to start going out again. I hadn’t heard a thing from Jason so I imagined he had decided to focus on his own family unit until we had the paternity test results, which we were due to receive any day now – or he was plotting my slow, painful death. Either way, it didn’t seem fair that Oscar should also become a recluse because of this. He was my rock. I made a reservation at his favourite Michelin-starred restaurant in London, and surprised him with the news the day before. He was delighted and seeing Oscar so happy made my spirits lift too.

I had hoped that we might have the test results by now – so Oscar and I would have some concrete news to celebrate – but when I called the company first thing that morning I was told nothing was on the system yet and that we should get it by email ‘in the next couple of days’. The wait was excruciating.