A suited man pushed past me briskly, nearly knocking the handset from my palm.

‘Hey!’ I called out, but he had rushed off without even noticing.

All I wanted to do was get home and cuddle my baby. Ouch – another shooting tightness in my boobs. I tried to stop thinking about Joni, but I couldn’t. There was no way these mammaries were going to last an entire massage, I’d be paranoid about spurting milk before the lights went down and that wouldn’t be enjoyable at all. For anyone. I called the spa and cancelled the appointment. Thankfully they didn’t charge me for wasting their time – they took pity on the new mum who sounded utterly lost in her home city.

Realizing I now had absolutely no reason to be in the centre of town, I decided to call it a day. I waved at a black cab and within seconds I was being driven back to Clapham. The traffic was heavy so it took longer than it would have done by Tube but I was quite happy to sit there, feeling like a voyeur and marvelling at how London life was carrying on while I felt so disconnected from it.

When I reached the flat, I was surprised to see Lucy standing in the street with her pram.

‘Aisha!’ She seemed startled to see me too. The cab had pulled up beside her, a few doors down from our place, and I got out to pay the driver through the passenger window. Perhaps I had given her a shock.

‘Lucy – hi – I haven’t forgotten we’re meeting, have I?’ I asked.

‘No,’ she shook her head, ‘I was just passing. I was on my way to Boots.’ She paused. ‘My… steriliser broke, and I was going to get a new one. And then I thought I’d see if you were home.’

‘Don’t get a new one – we have a spare,’ I offered, remembering the pressure I had put on Jason to order all the items from Maggie’s list, forgetting I’d already bought one online with money sent by Dad. I noticed that she looked nice, her hair neat and with subtle make-up on. ‘Come in for a cuppa if you like, Jason’s home with Joni. Would you believe I was meant to go to a spa today but,’ I felt a little embarrassed saying it, ‘I chickened out. It was so busy in town and I missed Joni. I just wanted to get back to her. How silly is that?’ My voice trailed off.

‘Not silly at all, I can’t imagine anything worse than being in the middle of town right now,’ she said, making me feel better. ‘I’d bubble wrap myself some days, if I could.’ She smiled, but didn’t move.

‘So do you want to come in for a cuppa?’ I asked.

‘Perhaps I could pop in quickly, just to pick up the steriliser…’ She seemed to falter. ‘Then I’d better head off.’

The flat was disarmingly quiet when I opened the door. I’d half expected Jason to fail at keeping Joni’s routine, and that, unable to resist the urge to play with her in any waking hour, she’d be cooing on her jungle gym when I got home.