It was 9.30 when I noticed Joni stirring and decided it was time for us to leave; I didn’t particularly fancy breastfeeding her in the pub, which was now getting louder as people enjoyed a mid-week night out. Jason was nursing a new full pint at the bar.

‘You stay,’ I insisted, thinking that I shouldn’t be too harsh, at least he was getting on well with the dads. Will and Christian had joined the guys and they were huddled together laughing about something.

Soon after I had finished saying my goodbyes to the women, Lucy reached for her coat too.

‘I’d better get going as well,’ she said, waving to the others. ‘Duty calls – looks like Albie needs me.’

As we prepared to go our separate ways outside the pub, Lucy touched my arm. ‘How about that coffee,’ she said, more as a statement than a question. ‘This Friday any good?’

‘Sure,’ I smiled. Maybe I had judged her too harshly. At the end of the day we were all coping in our different ways.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Lucy

Oscar had called four more times while I was in the pub. After an initial panic about where to find things, I thought he would manage on his own. Apparently not. I had to put my phone on silent, not wanting to cause a scene in front of the others, and besides, Albie would probably be suckling away peacefully any minute if he persevered. Things could change so quickly with a baby – Oscar needed to keep going with the bottle. But then he sent a text:

ANSWER YOUR DAMN PHONE!

Swiftly followed by:

He won’t take the bottle and I’ve tried three different teats. It’s been an hour. He’s in a state. Shall we come find you in the pub or will you come back?

Bloody hell. This is what I went through every day. Couldn’t he just let me have a few hours’ peace? I messaged him back:

Okay, I hear you, I’ll head back now.

I saw Aisha was getting ready to go home too so I told her of my plan to leave and took the opportunity to ask her about going for a coffee.

As she stood up, I noticed how slim Aisha’s tummy seemed to be, just weeks after giving birth. How did she manage that? I was still finding it difficult to do up the pregnancy jeans I’d been wearing in my third trimester. Helen looked amazing this evening too, as though her size six body had snapped back overnight. I felt a twinge of jealousy. My C-section scar was still sore and my blubbery stomach felt as though it would never be flat again.

Joni was awake in the pram beside her. She had slept quietly for the whole evening thus far; she was so well behaved. I was glad I sat next to Aisha this evening but I couldn’t help wondering if I had messed things up; she seemed a bit uneasy around me.