As the class came to an end, Maggie reminded us that there was only one group session left. I couldn’t quite believe we were soon going to be left to fend for ourselves. Lucy had suggested earlier in the week that we should decamp to the local pub after today’s meeting. Part of me wanted to go home, but I was still so furious with Jason that another part of me wanted to punish him. Perhaps the pub was a good idea. Leave him wondering where I had got to, for once. Although the idea of a heavily pregnant woman going on a bender was ridiculous.

‘Coming for the drinks?’ Lucy asked hopefully. I noticed a frown across her forehead. The fact that she was clearly holding out for me to go helped make up my mind.

‘Sure,’ I replied, as breezily as possible, pulling my cardigan off the back of my chair and gathering up my things.

I stuck it out for a whole hour before excusing myself to go to the bathroom, where I sat on the loo going over the events of today. Jason still hadn’t even bothered to send me another text. I was gripped by anxiety again and couldn’t help thinking about the day I told him I was pregnant. Was this weird behaviour another sign he wasn’t up to the challenge of fatherhood? I tried to distract myself by scrolling blankly through my Facebook feed and randomly liking things, until I decided it was now a respectable time to claim I felt tired and face Jason. One advantage of pregnancy was always having an excuse to leave a rubbish party.

When I got home, Jason was already in bed, AirPods in his ears, watching something on his phone. It was unusual for him to be so subdued. Perhaps sensing he was in the dog house, he didn’t say anything, but watched me for a while as I moved around the room, taking off my jewellery and changing out of my clothes. It irritated me that he had got into bed without even closing the curtains, so I pulled them together loudly, making the point.

Finally, he took a bud out of one ear. ‘Everything okay?’ he asked. I noticed he looked pale.

‘Shouldn’t I be asking you that question?’ I said, feeling the familiar tightening in my chest. Jason had pushed things too far today, with his unreliability. It made me seriously question his readiness for all this.

‘I didn’t feel well,’ he said morosely.

I knew there had to be more to it, but I was tired and not in the mood to start a big conversation right now. I went into the kitchen and ate some dinner on my own. We went to sleep in silence.

Chapter Fifteen

Aisha

Sunday 9^th May

I woke up the next morning to a WhatsApp message from Lucy. She had sent it late the evening before.

Lucy: Hey, just checking how you and Jason are? Hope all ok.