While I tell Lucas about the police, he finishes the dish in the pan and plates it up for us both, topping it with some freshly chopped green stuff. Then he opens a bottle of wine and we sit at the small two-person table that Lucas insisted on buying when we got this place. I thought we’d never use it. I didn’t realise how romantic living with Lucas was going to be. He loves making dinner, lighting candles, decanting wine. I’m so spoilt, I’m so lucky, oh God, I’m crying again.

‘Lucas, what if this doesn’t go away?’ I say, sauce dripping onto my chin.

Lucas leans forward and wipes it off with his serviette. ‘Tara, this time next month you’ll be in Australia. This will be history. Those detectives will be history. You didn’t do anything wrong. You need to stop freaking out.’

I felt guilty listening to Lucas saying I didn’t do anything wrong. I know now I should have told him but I always hoped I could keep my secret locked away. A lot of effort and time went into pushing it to the back of my mind and the thought of releasing it back into the open again frightens me. Will Lucas still want me? Will I end up in prison? I try to hide my fear behind the glass of wine touching my lips. I’m torn between blurting out the whole truth, possibly destroying everything, and saying nothing. I look at Lucas sitting on the opposite side of the table. His mouth is full of food. His head, full of excitement. I can’t ruin it for him.

‘I know… I know, but the detectives… I thought they’d have gone away by now.’ I say.

‘They will.’

‘But why did that woman ring me?’

‘I don’t know, Tara. I’m sure it’s a simple explanation. It might even have been a misdialed number. Who knows? You didn’t know her. You didn’t have anything to do with her murder so let it go, Tara. This will all go away. The detectives will find out what happened. Now eat some dinner.’