Chapters (72)
- Cover
- Dedication
- Chapter One
- Chapter Two
- Chapter Three
- Chapter Four
- Chapter Five
- Chapter Six
- Chapter Seven
- Chapter Eight
- Chapter Nine
- Chapter Ten
- Chapter Eleven
- Chapter Twelve
- Chapter Thirteen
- Chapter Fourteen
- Chapter Fifteen
- Chapter Sixteen
- Chapter Seventeen
- Chapter Eighteen
- Chapter Nineteen
- Chapter Twenty
- Chapter Twenty-One
- Chapter Twenty-Two
- Chapter Twenty-Three
- Chapter Twenty-Four
- Chapter Twenty-Five
- Chapter Twenty-Six
- Chapter Twenty-Seven
- Chapter Twenty-Eight
- Chapter Twenty-Nine
- Chapter Thirty
- Chapter Thirty-One
- Chapter Thirty-Two
- Chapter Thirty-Three
- Chapter Thirty-Four
- Chapter Thirty-Five
- Chapter Thirty-Six
- Chapter Thirty-Seven
- Chapter Thirty-Eight
- Chapter Thirty-Nine
- Chapter Forty
- Chapter Forty-One
- Chapter Forty-Two
- Chapter Forty-Three
- Chapter Forty-Four
- Chapter Forty-Five
- Chapter Forty-Six
- Chapter Forty-Seven
- Chapter Forty-Eight
- Chapter Forty-Nine
- Chapter Fifty
- Chapter Fifty-One
- Chapter Fifty-Two
- Chapter Fifty-Three
- Chapter Fifty-Four
- Chapter Fifty-Five
- Chapter Fifty-Six
- Chapter Fifty-Seven
- Chapter Fifty-Eight
- Chapter Fifty-Nine
- Chapter Sixty
- Chapter Sixty-One
- Chapter Sixty-Two
- Chapter Sixty-Three
- Chapter Sixty-Four
- Chapter Sixty-Five
- Chapter Sixty-Six
- Chapter Sixty-Seven
- A letter from Jackie
- About the Author
- Also by Jackie Walsh
There are no words to describe how I feel. I have been wrong all along. How could I have believed that about Tara? But Andriu must have known I would think he was talking about Tara. She was lying on the sofa when I came home that day, conked out, half-dressed. They had both been drinking. I saw the empty glasses. The box of condoms on his bedside cabinet. No one mentioned Emily. What has this man done to me?
And now he thinks I killed Avril Ryan. He thinks I’m mad. Andriu doesn’t love me. Did he ever love me?
‘No,’ I whisper before ending the call.
I drop my head onto the pillow. What the hell is going on? Why did Andriu ask me if I killed Avril Ryan? Is it because I lied to the detective about Tara knowing Avril Ryan? Does he think I’m trying to shift the blame to her?
Fear washes over me, bigger than the fear that has been washing over me for years. It’s heavier. To lift it, I’m going to have to be stronger.
I sit up on the bed and let reality sink in. Andriu Fitzpatrick does not love me. He might even hate me. He will tell people I killed Avril Ryan. He will tell the cops.
I can’t let that happen.
Chapter Forty-Eight
Tara
I’m watching the commuters get off the bus at the 22a stop for the last time. They’ll do it again tomorrow, but I won’t be here to see them. My journey is changing course. This is my final day working for Muriel in the café and while I’m sad to be leaving because I’ll miss Muriel – she has always been very good to me – I’m also happy. Happy to be moving on to new exciting things.
Telling Lucas about my mam’s passing has helped me see more clearly. We spent most of the day yesterday just lying around, talking, spending time on our own. Lucas assured me I had done the right thing, and though I didn’t need his reassurance and never doubted my decision, it was nice to hear.
I don’t know why I delayed telling him and maybe if it hadn’t been for the discovery of Avril Ryan’s body at Huntley Lodge bringing it all up again, I wouldn’t have. But I’m glad I did. It’s over now. Lucas has seen the darkest side of me and he still loves me.