Then it dawned on me like a silent shadow creeping over my body and casting me into darkness. Someone knew what I had done. Someone was threatening me, attempting to blackmail me. I took the phone in my hand again, searching through my history to see if I could connect the number to a person I knew but I couldn’t. I thought about dialing the number and was about to when Richard from the x-ray department sat down in front of me. He had a croissant hanging from his mouth and two cups of coffee in his hands. Richard mumbled something before placing the coffee down and taking the croissant from between his lips. A girl I hadn’t met before, but whose nametag told me she was Cora, sat down beside him. She said something but I didn’t hear her. All I could hear were muffled noises and my heart beating loud in my chest.

Somebody was threatening me. They knew I would be struck off if the truth got out. But who knew? Who would do that? Was it someone here at the hospital? Had someone somehow discovered what had happened?

I glanced around the space in front of me. Patients, visitors, doctors, nurses. It could be any one of them and was most likely none of them. I lifted the coffee to my lips once more and swallowed down half the cup in one go. I didn’t know who had sent that text but I was pretty sure I was going to hear from them again very soon.

I didn’t hear from them that day, or any other day. I waited, hour after hour, week after week, month after month. Over time, the anxiety of hearing my phone beep disappeared. But there was still a niggling fear at the back of my mind that whoever it was would show up at any time. Someone knew what I had done and they could destroy me.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

I’m sitting by a window, sipping tea from a small white cup dotted with little blue flowers. It arrived at my table on a saucer alongside a small pot and jug. The napkin is as big as a tablecloth, fresh, crisp and white. There’s a scone on a plate with a separate little pot of jam and butter and a polished silver knife resting on the side.

Mam would be happy to see this. Her daughter sitting in a Queen Anne chair by the window of a luxurious hotel drinking tea and eating scones like posh people should. Thankfully, my appointment’s schedule was very light for the day. I was able to move things around and leave the clinic early.