‘Can you call back later?’ I say, sounding desperate. I want to explain why I’m seeing Andriu next week.

‘I’ll call you this evening, but Tara…’

‘Yes?’ I’m relieved she’s agreed to call me later.

‘If those detectives return, be careful what you say to them.’

‘I will Faye… don’t worry.’ I know that’s easier said than done.

‘Okay, got to go. Talk later.’

And then she’s gone. Into her world of saving lives and easing suffering. I picture her rushing down a hospital corridor in a white coat to the next emergency room, her petite hand pushing open the door and waving her magic wand.

When I put the phone down, I catch my own image in the mirror and see the tired, worried face of the bride-to-be. This isn’t right. I can’t be letting this body at Huntley Lodge ruin the most important day of my life. I should be enjoying myself.

I move over to the cabinet with all the wedding paraphernalia and open up the box with the wedding pamphlets inside. The words on the white sparkling cover cheer me up. The wedding of… I lift the pamphlet and sniff it. There’s nothing beautiful about the smell of this paper except that it smells new, reminding me of the life that awaits me. The sun, the sea, the sex. The barbecues that I never liked going to in Ireland but will probably love in Australia with all my new friends. Lucas has lots of friends. I’ve met one of them in person when he came over to visit earlier in the year. Others I’ve met on Skype. They all seem nice, and some of the girls have already friended me on Facebook which is great. I’ll feel like I know them already when I get there. It’s a pity none of them will be at the hen party.

Closing the lid on the box of pamphlets, I try to swallow the pain that surges inside me. It’s an even bigger pity Faye won’t be there. How did this happen? Faye was always such a big part of my life; every plan for our future was made together, discussed, dissected and spoken about with such excitement and enthusiasm; we left no stone unturned. Especially when it came to getting married – we had some great laughs dreaming about that. And now she’s not even going to be at the hen party. I thought when I met Lucas that I could finally let her go. I didn’t think about her as much. I came to accept she was gone for good and I was able to quieten her voice in my head. But hearing her today has brought it all back.

Chapter Fifteen