Moving to the back of the shop I unwrap the belt on my apron and let that word echo in my head. Time. Last week I hadn’t got enough of it and this week I have too much. Wouldn’t it be great to have a button, to be able to pause, rewind, fast forward? Or a special box to put time away in and take it back out when I need it. But there is no button, no box. Time owns me.

The sun is shining bright when I leave the café and it feels like an intrusion into my sadness. Why is everything not dull? I walk to the bus stop and stand with other silent voices and wait for the thirty-nine bus to take me back to Huntley Lodge. Dad was disappointed when I dropped out of college a few months ago. I think he thought I’d go back as soon as Mam died but I don’t want to. Not yet anyway, maybe next year.

When I get to Huntley, it’s after lunchtime so I don’t expect anyone to be at home. Faye will be at college and Andriu at work. My plan is to go to bed, pull the duvet over my head and sleep, something I haven’t been able to do properly for weeks now.

I turn the key in the door and step inside. To my surprise, Emily is standing in the hallway. She’s just about to leave but then I notice there’s an unusual smoky smell. Like something is burning or smouldering. It’s coming from the kitchen. Someone must have left a ring on.

‘What’s that smell?’ I ask. ‘And what are you doing here?’

Emily sniffs the air. ‘I don’t know, it’s like something is burning.’ She takes a cream jacket from a pile of coats hanging at the bottom of the stairs and says, ‘I came over to pick this up. I left it here the other day.’

‘But how did you get in? Is my dad here again?’

‘No, Andriu let me in.’

‘Andriu?’ I’m confused now because I thought he’d be at work but I haven’t been paying much attention to the outside world of late. He might have mentioned something and I didn’t hear.

Emily walks over and puts her hand on my arm. ‘Are you okay, Tara? You look worn out.’

‘I’ll be okay. I’m just tired. I’m going to bed for a few hours.’

Emily smiles with pity before asking if I want her to stay. I don’t. Emily is the last person I want to see now but I thank her and watch her leave.

A few minutes later, Andriu walks into the kitchen, where I am pouring hot water onto a teabag.

‘Sorry about the smell, Tara, I burnt a pot of eggs earlier.’