Ronan is up at the bar trying to get a last order out of the barman before we’re all turfed out. I’m pretty sure it was Andriu’s turn to buy a round but he didn’t offer. He’s chatting away to Emily now and Emily is doubled over in laughter at something he has said.

I feel like I’m unable to fully enjoy myself. Andriu has added to my worries instead of easing them. What he said about Faye is freaking me out. But what if he’s right and Faye was unstable at the time? Could she really have thought I slept with Andriu? Was I so engrossed in my own grief that I didn’t notice Faye was crumbling too?

I can’t think about that now. Not here. Not in the company of all these wonderful, cheery people who are just out to enjoy themselves. I need to relax and emotionally join the company. Laugh a bit. The show must go on.

These are my friends. The people who’ll be celebrating my wedding with me next week. I hope.

In a couple of months, I’ll be longing to be in a crowded noisy pub with these people. Thinking back to all those carefree days that we spent together. All the fun I had with Amy and Emily and… I wish Faye was here.

Three gin and tonics are lined up in front of me on the table. I’m way behind everyone else so I lift a bottle of tonic and pour it in on top of a gin, then I swallow the whole drink in one go. The noise seems to fade to the background as I take the next drink over and sit beside Lucas. Lucas puts his arm around me.

‘This time next week, Tara, this time next week.’ His words bring a smile to my face. This time next week I’ll be Mrs Jones. Dancing amongst my friends and family in a beautiful white dress. My dad will be dancing beside me, his awkward moves making me laugh. He’ll smile even though he’s sad. But he’ll also be happy, because I’ll be happy.

‘Would you take my grave as quick?’ Ronan says, placing the last round of drinks down on the table.

‘I would if it was as comfortable,’ I say.

Lucas pulls me onto his lap but Ronan insists I have his stool and goes searching for another one. I’m sitting down when my eyes are drawn to Andriu at the far end of the group. Emily is still talking away to him but he’s looking towards the front of the pub. I look over to see what’s so interesting. A woman in a black jacket and grey jeans is walking out the door. I didn’t get to see her face. Maybe he thinks he knows her. She’s gone now.