So yep, I care about my ma and I’ll do anything to keep her safe, and believe me that’s not always easy. See, she’s vulnerable, weak, not all that clever, she gets hit around a lot by men, especially BJ, and she’s not strong enough to fight back. I never used to be able to do anything to stop them, I was too small and half the time if I got in the way they’d deck me too, or worse. But then I got bigger and learned how to take care of myself, and her, a bit better, so the f***wits started to be more careful around me, especially when they got to know I was working for the London gangs.

I was earning by then as well, although not as much as I should have been, because BJ is a robbing b******. Still, I usually had something to give my ma when I got home, I just had to try and make sure she spent it the right way. She’s a basket case, sad and mouthy, bewildered and opinionated, but afraid of her own shadow most of the time. She shouts at someone in the street, then runs inside to hide and sends me out to deal with it. Generally I tell whoever it is to fuck off, and because everyone knows I carry (that means I always have a weapon on me), they usually do.

I was fourteen the first time I pulled a blade on someone, and guess who it was. That’s right, BJ. I came in from school one day to find him smacking around my ma and my granny (this was before she was carted off to the care home) and I made sure he never did it again. See, the big difference between me and him is that he’s a coward, and I’m not. He saw the blade, backed off, and from then on he treated me with a bit more respect. He even told people what I’d done, like he was boasting about it, and that was fine by me.

Anyways, I’ve kind of got into the habit of acting like my ma don’t mean much to me, because it’s part of what helps keep her safe. If certain people knew I cared they’d use her as leverage to make me do stuff that would end me up in the nick, or dead. It’s how they work, and the ones who run me and BJ are some of the worst. If they went after my old lady they’d really have me, so I had to make out like she meant f***all. They put it to the test a couple of times, which got her a few beatings, but she understood why it had to happen. I kept a note of those who harmed her and promised that one day they’d pay.