“Claudia,” Marcy said firmly, “I am truly coming to believe that the only way either of us is ever going to be able to move on is through some kind of forgiveness, and that has to include you forgiving yourself. OK, I know it’s hard, I’m not finding it easy either, to empathize with Archie. God knows, a big part of me wants to say to hell with it, why should I forgive anyone after what’s been done to me? Let them suffer, let all the wrath of the gods rain down on them, but if I do that, I’m the one who’s going to end up a bitter and vengeful old woman. That’s not who I want to be, it really isn’t, but I’m sure it’s what will happen if I hang on to all the terrible things I feel. They’re corrosive, Claudia, even more damaging in their way than the fire. And it’s the same for you. You need to exorcize all the ugliness that’s come from knowing Marcus, because if you don’t he’ll always be with you.”

Claudia’s eyes widened in astonishment. “You’re surely not asking me to forgive him,” she protested.

“No, not at all. I understand that’s far too big an ask, for either of us, but going easier on yourself, being more understanding of your mistakes—that you couldn’t possibly have known were mistakes at the time—is every bit as important for you as it is for me. As a family we need to move on in as healthy a way as we can, and holding on to negative and destructive feelings about ourselves isn’t going to help us to do that.”

Claudia knew she couldn’t deny any of this, she didn’t even want to try, since she was perfectly aware that arguing a case for her self-loathing was as counterproductive as it was stupid. It was simply . . . It was simply what? It was so hard to know how she felt about anything, apart from responsible and brokenhearted about what her mother had been through, and would never escape. “I guess,” she said quietly, “that we have to accept that it’s going to take me longer to get the hang of forgiving than it seems to be taking you.”

Marcy’s tone was wry as she said, “Believe you me, I’m not there yet, I’m just going through the motions of it in the hope that it’ll become a reality. And actually, so far, it seems to be working.”

“You wouldn’t be doing what you are for Archie if it weren’t.”

“Maybe not, but surely you can see that he’s as much a victim in all this as he is an offender.”

“I suppose it’s one way of looking at it.”