Back Escape to the French Farmhouse Save as PDF
Chapters (79)
  1. COVER
  2. About the Author
  3. Also by Jo Thomas
  4. DEDICATION
  5. ONE
  6. TWO
  7. THREE
  8. FOUR
  9. FIVE
  10. SIX
  11. SEVEN
  12. EIGHT
  13. NINE
  14. TEN
  15. ELEVEN
  16. TWELVE
  17. THIRTEEN
  18. FOURTEEN
  19. FIFTEEN
  20. SIXTEEN
  21. SEVENTEEN
  22. EIGHTEEN
  23. NINETEEN
  24. TWENTY
  25. TWENTY-ONE
  26. TWENTY-TWO
  27. TWENTY-THREE
  28. TWENTY-FOUR
  29. TWENTY-FIVE
  30. TWENTY-SIX
  31. TWENTY-SEVEN
  32. TWENTY-EIGHT
  33. TWENTY-NINE
  34. THIRTY
  35. THIRTY-ONE
  36. THIRTY-TWO
  37. THIRTY-THREE
  38. THIRTY-FOUR
  39. THIRTY-FIVE
  40. THIRTY-SIX
  41. THIRTY-SEVEN
  42. THIRTY-EIGHT
  43. THIRTY-NINE
  44. FORTY
  45. FORTY-ONE
  46. FORTY-TWO
  47. FORTY-THREE
  48. FORTY-FOUR
  49. FORTY-FIVE
  50. FORTY-SIX
  51. FORTY-SEVEN
  52. FORTY-EIGHT
  53. FORTY-NINE
  54. FIFTY
  55. FIFTY-ONE
  56. FIFTY-TWO
  57. FIFTY-THREE
  58. FIFTY-FOUR
  59. FIFTY-FIVE
  60. FIFTY-SIX
  61. FIFTY-SEVEN
  62. FIFTY-EIGHT
  63. FIFTY-NINE
  64. SIXTY
  65. SIXTY-ONE
  66. SIXTY-TWO
  67. Epilogue
  68. Acknowledgements
  69. RECIPES
  70. Lavender shortbread
  71. Apricot jam sponge cake
  72. Lavender lamb
  73. READ MORE
  74. Prologue
  75. ONE
  76. TWO
  77. THREE
  78. FOUR
  79. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING

‘You never had children, Del?’ she asks, straight to the point.

The lump rises and falls in my throat. ‘We couldn’t have them,’ I say, having said this many times before. ‘Actually,’ I swallow, saying this for the first time, ‘I couldn’t have them. My husband, my ex, he’s about to have a child.’

‘That was quick work,’ she says.

‘I think his lover, partner,’ I correct myself, not knowing what the proper terminology is, ‘the mother of his child was pregnant before we came here. I think he ran away here when he found out she was. And when he went home, and I didn’t, I think he finally accepted his responsibilities.’

‘Well, that’s good in some ways. At least he did the decent thing.’

‘What about the father of your baby, Carine? Does he know?’

She shakes her head. ‘It wouldn’t be fair. He has a wife and a family. I don’t want to ruin that for him. I thought I had everything sorted, in its place, but now this is chaos! This is not what was meant to happen.’

It seems an odd way of showing your affection for someone, I think, but clearly, in her eyes, that’s what it is.

I wonder if this was how Mum felt when she found out she was pregnant with me.

‘You have to think of yourself too, Carine, not just the baby’s father,’ I say tentatively, ‘and the baby … Perhaps you should talk to Stephanie. I’d have done anything to be a mother. At first I thought it was about getting pregnant, but I know now it was never that. It was about being a mum. Being there when they need you, being Mum. I’m not jealous of Ollie and his partner being pregnant … but I would have liked to be a mum.’

Carine frowns as if slowly processing what I’m saying. ‘Hmm,’ she says thoughtfully. ‘It would have been so much easier if it had been me and Fabien finally getting together.’ She attempts a small smile.

‘How do you mean?’ I ask, feeling a breeze as the door opens and closes and another patient enters the waiting room.

‘Fabien wants nothing more than a big family of his own. He has lots of brothers, nephews and nieces. He’s probably told you. They live further north. He loves them. That’s why he’s so good with children. He just wants a family of his own. It’s the one thing he’s always wanted.’

I feel myself freeze.

‘Carine!’ The doctor sticks her head out of the surgery door and Carine gets up, holding her bag.

‘Will you wait for me?’ she asks.