BooksBarbecue
Back Escape to the French Farmhouse Save as PDF
Chapters (79)
  1. COVER
  2. About the Author
  3. Also by Jo Thomas
  4. DEDICATION
  5. ONE
  6. TWO
  7. THREE
  8. FOUR
  9. FIVE
  10. SIX
  11. SEVEN
  12. EIGHT
  13. NINE
  14. TEN
  15. ELEVEN
  16. TWELVE
  17. THIRTEEN
  18. FOURTEEN
  19. FIFTEEN
  20. SIXTEEN
  21. SEVENTEEN
  22. EIGHTEEN
  23. NINETEEN
  24. TWENTY
  25. TWENTY-ONE
  26. TWENTY-TWO
  27. TWENTY-THREE
  28. TWENTY-FOUR
  29. TWENTY-FIVE
  30. TWENTY-SIX
  31. TWENTY-SEVEN
  32. TWENTY-EIGHT
  33. TWENTY-NINE
  34. THIRTY
  35. THIRTY-ONE
  36. THIRTY-TWO
  37. THIRTY-THREE
  38. THIRTY-FOUR
  39. THIRTY-FIVE
  40. THIRTY-SIX
  41. THIRTY-SEVEN
  42. THIRTY-EIGHT
  43. THIRTY-NINE
  44. FORTY
  45. FORTY-ONE
  46. FORTY-TWO
  47. FORTY-THREE
  48. FORTY-FOUR
  49. FORTY-FIVE
  50. FORTY-SIX
  51. FORTY-SEVEN
  52. FORTY-EIGHT
  53. FORTY-NINE
  54. FIFTY
  55. FIFTY-ONE
  56. FIFTY-TWO
  57. FIFTY-THREE
  58. FIFTY-FOUR
  59. FIFTY-FIVE
  60. FIFTY-SIX
  61. FIFTY-SEVEN
  62. FIFTY-EIGHT
  63. FIFTY-NINE
  64. SIXTY
  65. SIXTY-ONE
  66. SIXTY-TWO
  67. Epilogue
  68. Acknowledgements
  69. RECIPES
  70. Lavender shortbread
  71. Apricot jam sponge cake
  72. Lavender lamb
  73. READ MORE
  74. Prologue
  75. ONE
  76. TWO
  77. THREE
  78. FOUR
  79. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING

‘I haven’t seen much of him. I’d ask him to come with me this morning, but I haven’t been able to get in touch with him. I think he’s avoiding me.’

‘I’m sure he’s not.’ I don’t want her to think that but neither do I want to give him or me away. ‘I’m sure he was just … busy.’

For once Carine’s sharp, shrewd mind seems not to have read between the lines. Usually she doesn’t miss a thing. She’s really not herself.

‘Like I say, I wanted him to come with me to the doctor. Sort of hold my hand. But maybe he’s worried the doctor will think it’s his.’ She looks down at her flat belly.

‘And it’s not?’ I find myself wanting to double-check.

‘No, no. Definitely not. Like I say, Fabien and I are friends and always will be … I hope. But at the moment, he’s avoiding me. He doesn’t know what to say to me. I think he’s cross with me for getting myself into this position.’

‘Why? Surely he’d be a great support.’

‘I have to decide whether to keep the baby,’ she says, and I go cold. ‘Fabien doesn’t approve of my indecision. That I have “options”.’ She sighs. ‘Will you come to the doctor with me?’ she asks. ‘If you have time, will you come with me?’

What can I say? I can’t abandon her now when she needs someone.

‘Please!’ she says. ‘Just walk with me and sit with me.’

This woman was kindness itself when I decided to stay here. I can’t turn my back on her now. But neither can I think about her ‘options’. I’ll just walk and sit with her. That’s all. There’s no way I can discuss her ‘options’ with her. Not when getting pregnant was the one thing I wanted for so long. For others, it seems so easy, just not for me. And that dream is over for me. I know that now. I have everything I need in life. My heart is as full as it could be. But I also know Carine has to do the right thing for her. I think of Stephanie and how proud she makes me, being a mother and now starting again in life. I think of Tomas and how hard Stephanie has had to work to keep him with her, to prove to herself she can be a good mum.

‘Yes, of course,’ I say. ‘I’ll come with you.’ A lump in my throat.

We walk through town, neither of us really talking, lost in our own thoughts.

We go up to what looks like a house. Inside, it’s a doctor’s surgery, with reception desk and waiting area. Carine lets the receptionist know she’s here, then sits beside me on a hard plastic chair in the waiting area.