Chapters (57)
- Cover
- Doctor Aphra
- DRAMATIS PERSONAE
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- ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
The smuggler Han Solo has a known associate. Or a pet, I’m not sure.
It’s a… furry creature of some sort…
What are they called again? A…a… Wok-Wok? No, that’s not it. Oh, my head is such a muddle, all this talk of torture has made me quite—
APHRA:
A Wookiee?
TRIPLE-ZERO:
Yes! His name is Ch…Chew something. Chew…bacca?
CHEWBACCA:
RRRRRRWWWWWGGHHHHH!
APHRA (narration):
He came out of nowhere, a mountain of brown fur and teeth. While he wasn’t as massive as Black Krrsantan…he did have the element of surprise on his side.
And he used it to rip one of Trip’s arms clean off his body.
CHEWBACCA:
RAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHH!
TRIPLE-ZERO:
Oh, heavens! What have you done, you fur-brained amateur dismemberer? That was my best dissecting hand!
Let’s see how you like it when someone pulls your arms off!
APHRA:
Solo! Are you seriously hiding out in the rocks while your Wookiee does all the work! Some prince of smugglers…
HAN SOLO:
And you shoulda stuck to stealing guns instead of my friends, Doc!
Han Solo and Aphra fire on each other.
APHRA (narration):
While the thoroughly unimpressive Han Solo and I got acquainted, Triple-Zero set about making friends with Chewbacca.
CHEWBACCA:
ARRRRGGGHHHHH!
We hear a series of vicious whumps as Chewie wales on Triple-Zero with his dismembered droid arm.
TRIPLE-ZERO:
Ow! Stop beating me with my own arm, you cretinous animal! Oh, the indignity!
I’m not sure why you’ve developed such a deep-seated dislike for protocol droids, but I believe you’ll find that Triple-Zero is quite unlike any protocol droid you’ve ever encountered.
For example…
A syringe pops out of Triple-Zero’s middle finger.
TRIPLE-ZERO:
Most protocol droids don’t house five hundred milligrams of Mandalorian xenotox in their middle finger.
Triple-Zero sticks Chewbacca with the syringe.
CHEWBACCA:
[whimper]
Rar…
TRIPLE-ZERO:
What’s the matter, Wookiee? Feeling a bit tired, are you? Well, I’m sure you’ve had a long day of pulling people’s arms off. Why don’t I help you lie down and relax for a bit?
APHRA (narration):
Yeah, Trip took down a whole Wookiee! Maybe he should try his luck in the fighting pits.
Meanwhile, I’d managed to find cover behind one of the rock formations close to the surface. I crouched, blaster at the ready, trying to suss out Solo’s position. I could hear bits and pieces of him talking to himself as he sent volley after volley of blasterfire in my direction…
HAN SOLO:
Heh, Doctor Aphra. Thought she was supposed to be smart. What kind of idiot takes cover right underneath a hive of wasp-worms?
Get ready for a nasty surprise, Doc.
APHRA (narration):
Okay, I didn’t totally hear the bit about the wasp-worms. But what Solo didn’t know was he’d taken cover…under the only other hive in the area.
And we both shot at those hives at the same time.
APHRA: