Awesome. Let’s make out.

SANA STARROS:

Chelli! Come on, talking like this is nice. Tell me something about yourself. Something nobody else knows.

APHRA:

I have a weakness for Bar’lethian plum cookies?

SANA STARROS:

Everyone knows that. No one in this entire university would even think of getting between you and the last Bar’lethian plum cookie, come dinnertime…

APHRA:

Only because that one time I tripped that snotty third-year who thought he was entitled to it.

Okay. I told you something. Now can we make out?

SANA STARROS:

[chuckling]

Mmm. You make me laugh.

APHRA:

You’re an easy laugh.

SANA STARROS:

I’m actually not. I…I don’t let my guard down much. I know what they say about me: Studious Sana. Never cracks a smile, never misses a class. Always at the library, always buried in some ancient text. But I am having…feelings while I’m doing all that, you know?

APHRA:

Why don’t you like to show all those feelings, then? Let people see the nonstudious side of you.

SANA STARROS:

I think it’s because…hmm.

I have often been in situations where I don’t feel…safe. I’ve learned I have to make myself safe—no one else will do it for me. And one way to make myself safe is not showing…any of that. Keeping it all inside.

APHRA:

[obviously affected by this but trying to deflect]

Ah. Well. I mean, I don’t understand that at all. People always know what I’m feeling—I just let it all out. Open book.

SANA STARROS:

I don’t think that is true. I think you understand not feeling safe, Chelli. I think you understand better than anyone.

APHRA:

I…

A weighted beat as Aphra wrestles with this.

APHRA:

[blurt]

My mom died on the backwater planet she carted me off to when I was a kid, I was cold and hungry and lonely all the time, and I never want to feel any of those things ever again.

SANA STARROS:

Oh, Chelli…but what about good feelings? What about love?

APHRA:

Love is a trap. I think my mom loved me too much. That’s why she took me away. But her love didn’t keep us safe. And it only meant that right before she died…she was terrified. She was weak.

I don’t want that. Ever.

SANA STARROS:

Have you ever felt safe?

A weighted beat as they stare into each other’s eyes, Aphra considering this. Then, finally…

APHRA:

Right now.

APHRA (narration):

And then we finally made out. I know—Studious Sana actually ended up being quite the chatterbox, eh? Blah, blah, blah, feelings.

But…that actually sounds nice, right? Like this whole tooth-achingly sweet moment ended with us doing a whole lot of kissing, so…wasn’t letting some of my softer feelings out actually a good thing?