Oh, hey, he exists! And he knows how to make an entrance. I should ask if he has access to any of those super-dangerous, possibly mythical Sith artifacts I keep hearing about, right? I mean. Those are probably worth endless credits! No, no…focus, Aphra.

Anyway, his dark lordliness didn’t listen to any of Utani Xane’s blather. He just raised a hand and did one of those Force woo-woo magic things, sending the annoying security droids flying!

The security droids clatter across the floor.

UTANI XANE:

Lord Vader!

Vader draws his lightsaber.

DARTH VADER:

I said… enough.

The security droids fire on Vader. He easily deflects their blasts with his lightsaber. The sounds of intense battle continue as Aphra narrates…

APHRA (narration):

The security droids fired on Vader, but he easily deflected all of their pathetic blasts with his lightsaber.

While the boys were fighting it out and Utani Xane was trying to weasel his weasel-y little ass to an escape pod, I picked the lock on my binders, freeing my hands. Then I flung my body right under Utani Xane, tripping him.

Because of course he was also trying to weasel away with my precious cargo: Triple-Zero, which he’d barely shown any interest in while I was going on and on about its many incredible attributes.

Why do people try to steal things they don’t appreciate?

I scuffled with him, making a desperate grab for the Matrix…

APHRA:

Gimme that!

As Aphra and Utani Xane scuffle, the Matrix goes flying from Utani Xane’s grasp.

APHRA (narration):

Of course he dropped it. Of course.

And of course it was right at this moment that I noticed we had scuffled our way to the very end of a massive ledge, right above one of the quarantine facility’s gray, echoey chasms.

The Matrix bounced once, twice, both of us trying to grab it—then it tumbled over the ledge.

APHRA:

Oh no!

APHRA (narration):

And of course I dove after it. Of course.

Some would say this is because I’m a daredevil hothead with no self-preservation skills. I prefer to say it’s because I’m focused. On completing my mission or whatever.

Listen, Utani Xane, I may not have been good enough to be your precious assistant curator…but I know how to get stuff done.

I went flying over the ledge, adrenaline pumping through my every cell. And then I was suspended in the air, looking down at the unending darkness of the chasm below.

Come to think of it, this was another moment where I almost died.

But honestly, I didn’t care. I was focused only on getting that Matrix into my hot little hand. One of my arms shot out to grasp the ledge, saving me from falling into that endless chasm forever.

The other hand was all I needed to grasp the Matrix. I felt my fingertips closing around it, triumph surging through my entire body.

APHRA:

Gotcha.