‘Ah,’ Becky said again. ‘And at a guess you worry that if you do tell her and your relationship doesn’t work out, she will have a significant hold over you.’

‘I don’t think she’s that kind of person, but let’s face it, Becky – we see so many people who have trusted others and it’s all gone pear-shaped.’

‘Does she need to know?’ Becky asked.

Tom wasn’t sure. By not telling Louisa he had been lying by omission, but if she asked questions he would have to lie outright, and he wasn’t happy with that either.

‘Enough,’ Tom said. ‘I shouldn’t have brought it up. Inappropriate to say the least.’

Becky grunted. ‘Here we go. Barriers firmly back in place. Listen, Tom, on the basis that the only two people you can talk to about Jack are me and Detective Superintendent Philippa Bloody Stanley, I would guess I’m the better bet when it comes to anything to do with relationships, wouldn’t you?’

Becky was right, of course, but nobody could make this decision for him. Should he tell Louisa?

CHAPTER 23

23

I’ve been here for several days now, in this vast house that always seems to be totally silent. I’m even getting used to being called Judith. According to Thea, the doctor gets confused with names because over the years they have taken in a few of what Thea calls her ‘waifs and strays’, and he can’t remember who’s who. The first one was called Judith, and I suspect he doesn’t think I’ll be here for long, so it’s not worth his trouble to try to remember my name.

I’ve tried to suggest going out to look for a job – in fact, I’ve mentioned it every day – but I don’t get very far with Thea. ‘Why not take it easy for a few more days? You need time to recover from all that’s happened.’

I can’t believe I’m being so laid-back. I should be out there, finding a way forward. Instead I feel bizarrely content to let everything wash over me. I spend a lot of time alone. I didn’t hear or see the cleaners arrive that first day, but the drone of the vacuum cleaner penetrates the closed door of my rooms from time to time. I am quiet as a mouse for those few hours and usually stay snuggled up in bed with one of the books that are lying around. I feel so sleepy. Thea says it’s a reaction to all that has happened, and I should talk to the doctor about it, but I don’t really want to take up his time.