I don’t eat with them, but each evening Thea comes up and escorts me back down to the drawing room for a drink. The doctor has decided since that first night that sherry is my drink of choice, so it’s always there, ready and waiting for me. Strangely I’m growing to like it, and I certainly sleep well later. Even though I don’t share their dinner table, Thea usually gives me a portion of whatever she has cooked for them for me to reheat and she’s provided me with everything from homemade bread to her own marmalade. I’m being spoilt, and I should be getting on with my life, I think. No, I don’t just think it, I know it. I somehow have to work up the energy.

I’m going to mention it tonight when we have drinks, and now I can hear Thea’s feet coming up the stairs to collect me. I know the way, but I think she’s uncomfortable with me wandering around the house. Maybe she thinks I’ll get lost.

‘Have you had a good day, dear?’ she asks me.

What can I answer? I’ve done nothing but read and gaze into space.

‘I have, but it’s time I made some effort to get out and find a job, Thea. I have to go and see Ian and work out what I’m going to do about the house. It’s so kind of you to shelter me here, but it’s not a long-term solution. I need to sort myself out.’

‘Do you think you’re ready to see Ian?’ she asks, narrowing her eyes. ‘I tell you what. Why don’t you have a little session with the doctor? I think you’ll find he will know what’s best.’

I want to say that I know what’s best, but it would sound rude and so I find myself agreeing.

As we walk into the drawing room the doctor gets to his feet, as he always does. ‘I’ve poured you a small sherry, Judith,’ he says, his voice slightly hoarse as if he doesn’t use it much.

‘Judith would like to have a chat with you, my dear,’ Thea says. ‘Do you want to go to your study, or shall I leave you both in peace here for half an hour?’

‘Oh, here’s fine, I think. Don’t you, Judith?’

The urge to correct him – and now Thea – has waned over the last few days. What does it matter, really?

I take a seat opposite him, sitting right on the edge of the chair, my hands clasped on my knees.