‘Whatever you decide, I won’t argue with you. Nothing that’s happened has changed the way I feel about you,’ he said. ‘I know you have to decide if I’m the kind of man who has a shedload of skeletons lurking in his cupboard, and I can’t prove otherwise. I’m thrilled Jack is here, but I wish he’d left it a couple of hours before showing up. By then you would have known everything. All I can say is that I’m truly sorry. I didn’t fake the emotions. I remember clearly how I felt when I thought Jack was dead, and at the time we had that conversation I was really missing him. None of that was untrue. And I can’t help but be glad to see him.’

Tom risked a smile, and Louisa responded.

‘I’m not running out on you,’ she said. ‘But you need to spend some time with your brother. And I need to sort my head out. Is that okay?’

‘Of course. I take it that means you want to go home tonight?’

Louisa nodded slowly. ‘I’ll get a cab.’

‘No, you won’t. I’ll take you.’

Louisa nodded at the whisky in his hand, the glass now almost empty. ‘Shit,’ he said. ‘Sorry.’

She stood up and reached out a hand to pull him to his feet, wrapping her arms around his waist.

‘I know I’m probably being unfair, Tom, and I’m sorry.’

‘I need you to be happy,’ he said, drawing her closer. ‘I don’t want there to be a single barrier between us – no doubts, no hesitancy, no pretence.’

She lifted her head and kissed him gently on the lips. ‘Me too.’

CHAPTER 39

39

I’m not going to drink Thea’s tea. I want my wits about me. I need to understand what’s going on and what my options are, although I know they’re not great.

Thea is an elderly woman. She’s going to be slow coming down the stairs, and my room is furthest from the kitchen, round a bend in the corridor. I grab the mug and race barefoot across to the bathroom. I can’t hear her slow steps plodding down the stairs in her soft velvet slippers, so I have no idea if she is getting close. The bathroom door is open, and I don’t hesitate. I throw the contents of the mug into the washbasin. I fly back to my room and fling myself on the bed.

I realise I haven’t shut the door, although I know I’m supposed to when the buzzer sounds, but I can’t now – it’s too late. I try to control my breathing and lift the mug to my lips as if I am savouring the last few drops as Thea appears in the doorway.

‘This door should be closed,’ she says, her voice sharp. ‘You need to follow the rules.’