I advance on Ian until my nose is inches from his. ‘If you call me a bitch again, I will punch your sad, squashed-up face. Understood?’

Ian raises a hand, and for a moment I think he’s going to hit me, but he just rubs the top of his head as if he’s totally confused by the person in front of him.

Good.

I snatch the case from the bare mattress and stomp towards the door, elbowing Ian in the guts as I pass for good measure. He grabs my arm and spins me round.

‘What’s happened to you?’ he says, genuine bafflement in his tone and on what I can see of his face.

‘I’ve realised what a wanker you are,’ I spit as I yank my arm free. I push him away with my bloodied hand and pound down the stairs and out through the front door, heading towards my car, which is parked on the drive. I open the boot and reach in for the flat shoes that I wear when I go for a walk. I can’t see them and push Ian’s never-used fishing gear to one side.

He is hard on my heels, and I just want to get out of here. I can live without the shoes.

‘Come back and talk to me,’ he pleads. ‘We can sort something.’

I hide a smile of satisfaction. Now he wants to talk, when his back’s against the wall and he has lost. I spin round. ‘I would rather slit my throat than spend another sixty seconds in your company. No, scratch that. I would rather slit your throat. Don’t push me, Ian. What have I got to lose?’

Another passerby – a middle-aged man – peers at me nervously and crosses to the other side of the street, but I don’t care who sees me or what they think. All I want is for Ian to be out of my life, one way or another.

CHAPTER 29

29

I return to Thea’s car and throw myself into the passenger seat. Without a word I grab my seat belt, buckle up and fling my house keys onto the back seat.

‘I thought you might be upset, so it seemed a good idea for me to drive,’ Thea says.

The journey passes in silence, with me staring sightlessly out of the window, my lips clamped tight together, my body rigid. Slowly I try to calm my breathing and let my blood pressure fall to a reasonable level, muttering nothing more than ‘Thanks’ to Thea.