“Perhaps that’s true . . . but he loves himself even more. Instead of going to a work camp, he became a Nazi.” She reached to take Ans’s hands. “Listen, I understand Erik because I acted just like him in the first war. He wanted to be safe and avoid suffering. Cowards think only of themselves. They’re selfish. My parents and my brother took enormous risks to free our country, risks that cost them their lives. I ran away and saved myself. And now in this war, Erik saved himself while everyone else we love took enormous risks to rescue others and to fight the Nazis. The war is coming to an end now, and Erik is still trying to save himself, trying to escape being punished for collaborating with the enemy.”

Ans closed her eyes and wept as the truth of what Eloise said pierced her heart. But could she turn her back on the man she loved?

“Herman knew how I’d behaved in the first war,” Eloise continued. “He knew I’d been a coward, but he loved me and married me in spite of it. And you may still want to marry Erik. Maybe he’ll beg Avi and Miriam and Professor Jacobs to forgive him for his indifference, and maybe they will. With your help, Erik may eventually ask God for forgiveness too. But you’ve seen the damage that selfishness and cowardice and guilt have done to my soul. You’ve seen the price I’ve paid —and dear Herman has paid it along with me. Herman may already be dead because of his great love and courage. I only hope that this time, in this war, I’ve done enough.”

“You have,” Ans whispered. “You’ve sacrificed more than enough. You’re the most courageous woman I’ve ever known.”

Eloise released her hands and looked away as if uncomfortable with praise. “I’ve no doubt that you’ll marry someday, Ans. You’ll make a wonderful wife and mother. You’re strong and compassionate and courageous —and capable of becoming so much more than Erik Brouwer’s wife.”

“He’s coming for my answer tomorrow. I don’t know what to tell him.”

Eloise looked at her again. “Search your heart. I think you do know.”

Ans spent all day and most of the night weeping and praying, reliving every wonderful moment she and Erik had spent together —and all of the dark, disappointing ones. When she opened the door the next morning and stepped outside to talk with him, she was trembling from head to toe.

“Did you find someone to help me hide?” he asked.