“From your parents’ farm? You’re so thin!” She didn’t want to lie to him, but a niggle of doubt made her afraid to trust him after so much time. What if Eloise was right and he had changed?

“I . . . I’ve been in Vught Prison.”

“Ans! I begged you to stop fighting the Nazis! I knew something like this would happen!” His anger surprised her.

“That isn’t why I was arrested. I was on my way back to the farm when two Nazi soldiers stole my bicycle. I had to walk a very long way, and it made me late. The police arrested me for breaking curfew.” He stared at her without speaking, and she couldn’t tell if he was shocked or if he didn’t believe her. “Will it jeopardize your job to be seen with a convicted felon?” she asked, trying to make light of it.

He pulled her close and held her again without answering. Erik seemed different after all these months. He’d always been alert and on guard, but now that alertness made him seem restless and jittery, like a mouse watching for a cat. He seemed happy to see Ans, but at the same time, he seemed to be holding back as they chatted, as if she’d hurt him and he was afraid to get close to her again. She knew that a measure of trust between them had been broken. After a few minutes, she saw him glance at the clock. He was in his uniform, and there was a suitcase open on his bed and piles of folded clothes.

“Are you going somewhere or did you just get home?” she asked, gesturing to the suitcase.

“I’m being sent away on a special detail.”

“For how long?”

“I’m not sure. Will you be at the town house when I get back? May I come to see you?”

“Absolutely!” They kissed again and clung to each other, but somehow, being with Erik wasn’t the way Ans had remembered —or how she had long dreamed it would be.

CHAPTER 58

Lena stood in the doorway to her cousin’s apartment above the post office, trying to unroll the flimsy newspaper after hiding it inside the handlebars of her bicycle. “Here, I brought you the latest news, Truus. It’s good, for once. The Nazis can’t last much longer.”

“Come upstairs,” Truus begged. “We haven’t had a chance to sit and talk in such a long time.”

“It will have to be quick. My girls are with me, and we need to get home before the next bombing raid starts. I try to time our trips into town to avoid the worst of them.”