“God created Ans the way He did for a reason. He can use her strong will and independent spirit. Maybe this isn’t rebellion as much as it is the need to become herself.”

“She’s just a child, Papa.” Lena’s throat tightened as she swallowed a lump of sorrow —or maybe fear. “She’s naive about the ways of the world beyond our farm and village.”

He stood and walked around the table to rest his hand on her shoulder. “Listen, I’ll talk with one of my colleagues at the Pieterskerk in Leiden. I’ll see if he knows of a position for Ans with a family from his congregation. Maybe living away from home for a while will help her figure out her next step.”

It wasn’t the answer Lena wanted to hear. She had to stop her bicycle and sink down beneath a tree on the way home, her vision blinded by tears. Lena had imagined a different future for her beautiful firstborn child. Yes, she knew her children would eventually grow up and leave home, but she had always pictured them living nearby, with armfuls of her grandchildren. They would sit in church together every week and eat Sunday dinner at her farmhouse table. Ans might even marry a preacher like her grandfather and live in the manse beside the church. Never had Lena imagined setting her daughter loose in a university city like Leiden. In letting Ans go, Lena would have to let go of all her dreams for her.

A tractor coughed as it rumbled across a distant field scribing tidy rows. A colony of ants busied themselves in their hill beneath her feet. Lena found order and safety and purpose in the rhythms of nature. She could see no purpose in Ans’s flight from home.

“If you love her . . .” Oh, how she loved her daughter! Ans, her firstborn, special to her in so many ways. She possessed an outward beauty that frightened Lena because Ans didn’t know the power of it yet. Lena clasped her hands into fists as if longing to hold tightly to her.

“If you love her, let her go.” She had to entrust her daughter to God. Lena knew her faith wasn’t strong enough to do that. She lowered her head as her tears fell and asked God to teach her how to let go.

CHAPTER 2

COLOGNE, GERMANY

Miriam Jacobs put her hands over her ears to block out the bickering. Her family was quarreling again. Abba argued with Uncle David. Uncle David argued with Uncle Nathan. And Uncle Nathan argued with Abba. Aunt Shoshanna and Aunt Louisa squabbled with Mother and with each other. Mother disagreed with Abba.