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Chapters (64)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. Dedication
  4. Chapter One
  5. Chapter Two
  6. Chapter Three
  7. Chapter Four
  8. Chapter Five
  9. Chapter Six
  10. Chapter Seven
  11. Chapter Eight
  12. Chapter Nine
  13. Chapter Ten
  14. Chapter Eleven
  15. Chapter Twelve
  16. Chapter Thirteen
  17. Chapter Fourteen
  18. Chapter Fifteen
  19. Chapter Sixteen
  20. Chapter Seventeen
  21. Chapter Eighteen
  22. Chapter Nineteen
  23. Chapter Twenty
  24. Chapter Twenty-One
  25. Chapter Twenty-Two
  26. Chapter Twenty-Three
  27. Chapter Twenty-Four
  28. Chapter Twenty-Five
  29. Chapter Twenty-Six
  30. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  31. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  32. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  33. Chapter Thirty
  34. Chapter Thirty-One
  35. Chapter Thirty-Two
  36. Chapter Thirty-Three
  37. Chapter Thirty-Four
  38. Chapter Thirty-Five
  39. Chapter Thirty-Six
  40. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  41. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  42. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  43. Chapter Forty
  44. Chapter Forty-One
  45. Chapter Forty-Two
  46. Chapter Forty-Three
  47. Chapter Forty-Four
  48. Chapter Forty-Five
  49. Chapter Forty-Six
  50. Chapter Forty-Seven
  51. Chapter Forty-Eight
  52. Chapter Forty-Nine
  53. Chapter Fifty
  54. Chapter Fifty-One
  55. Chapter Fifty-Two
  56. Chapter Fifty-Three
  57. Chapter Fifty-Four
  58. Chapter Fifty-Five
  59. Chapter Fifty-Six
  60. Chapter Fifty-Seven
  61. Chapter Fifty-Eight
  62. Chapter Fifty-Nine
  63. Epilogue
  64. Acknowledgements

She definitely isn’t the sort of person who uses slogans such as ‘I speak as I find’, mostly because that’s usually an excuse to bludgeon vulnerable people in their softest places, without apology. But she’s straightforward. She’s no dissembler. And that has always worked in her favour, in the past. Her instincts, her integrity, mean she is not often subject to the machinations and manipulations of others. She’s never been a victim of office politics, simply because most people feel that they couldn’t hide anything from her if they wanted to.

But for the first time, Harri feels unmoored. She senses she is being deceived and disorientated, spun around in the dark, and when she looks up and regains focus, there is a chance that everyone and everything will have vanished.

Still, feelings aren’t facts, are they?

Chapter Thirty-Six

This is what you get

Imogen

I’ll show her.

I’m going to stay up all night writing the most devastatingly sexy, explicit, meltingly hot piece of prose my brain is capable of. And I’ll have to stay in the office, and she’ll come in, and she’ll notice that I’m in last night’s clothes, and that I have massive shadows under my eyes, and she’ll be sorry. And I’m going to order Uber Eats on the company credit card, which is in her desk drawer, and dare her to object when the bill comes in. ‘Oh, because I was working through the night I thought it would be OK to have something hot and nutritious delivered to the office,’ I’ll say. ‘Maybe next time I should just eat some of the leftover stale cookies from the M&M World PR.’

I’m so tired. I’m always so desperately tired. Ever since I started, I’ve been muddling through, thinking I’ll be able to get to the end of the day, or the end of the week, and sort my life out. Or rather, construct a life. Everything begins and ends with The Know. I crawl to work, I stare at my screen, I do whatever I have to do for work, after work, I crawl home, I close my eyes and I get up and do it all over again. The only thing I do that could count as a hobby is Sam Strong. When did I last have a hot meal, eaten with metal cutlery? When did I last do any actual exercise, if I don’t count running up the escalator at Tottenham Court Road?

This is what you wanted, says my brain. You’re successful. You’re ambitious.

This is what you get.

Harri could probably replace me tomorrow, probably for half my salary. This is everyone’s dream job. When I think of the trail of nightmare jobs that led me here—how can I possibly complain?