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Chapters (64)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. Dedication
  4. Chapter One
  5. Chapter Two
  6. Chapter Three
  7. Chapter Four
  8. Chapter Five
  9. Chapter Six
  10. Chapter Seven
  11. Chapter Eight
  12. Chapter Nine
  13. Chapter Ten
  14. Chapter Eleven
  15. Chapter Twelve
  16. Chapter Thirteen
  17. Chapter Fourteen
  18. Chapter Fifteen
  19. Chapter Sixteen
  20. Chapter Seventeen
  21. Chapter Eighteen
  22. Chapter Nineteen
  23. Chapter Twenty
  24. Chapter Twenty-One
  25. Chapter Twenty-Two
  26. Chapter Twenty-Three
  27. Chapter Twenty-Four
  28. Chapter Twenty-Five
  29. Chapter Twenty-Six
  30. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  31. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  32. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  33. Chapter Thirty
  34. Chapter Thirty-One
  35. Chapter Thirty-Two
  36. Chapter Thirty-Three
  37. Chapter Thirty-Four
  38. Chapter Thirty-Five
  39. Chapter Thirty-Six
  40. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  41. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  42. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  43. Chapter Forty
  44. Chapter Forty-One
  45. Chapter Forty-Two
  46. Chapter Forty-Three
  47. Chapter Forty-Four
  48. Chapter Forty-Five
  49. Chapter Forty-Six
  50. Chapter Forty-Seven
  51. Chapter Forty-Eight
  52. Chapter Forty-Nine
  53. Chapter Fifty
  54. Chapter Fifty-One
  55. Chapter Fifty-Two
  56. Chapter Fifty-Three
  57. Chapter Fifty-Four
  58. Chapter Fifty-Five
  59. Chapter Fifty-Six
  60. Chapter Fifty-Seven
  61. Chapter Fifty-Eight
  62. Chapter Fifty-Nine
  63. Epilogue
  64. Acknowledgements

‘Keep sharing on your socials!’ urges Akila. ‘The best way to spread the word is to do it organically.’ There is nothing organic about this. Harri’s shoulders are a bleak barometer of just how badly this is going. They’re either up by her ears, or down by her nipples. At 6.03, Kim says ‘Maybe we should go to the p…’

He has misjudged the mood. Even Akila, the only person who always seems to be fairly cheerful, has a face longer than the purple balloon.

‘…enis,’ he finishes sadly, and starts to gather his things. He tugs at his T-shirt, distractedly. Wonder Woman seems to be sinking down to earth.

Chapter Seventeen

The success issue

Harri

As the deputy editor of Panache, one of Harri’s greatest hits was the launch of the annual Success issue. It was framed as a feminist exercise—celebrating powerful women, singling out companies with a strong female presence on their boards, cheering for activism and ambition. But it was also effective advertiser bait, easy to compile (endless listicles—Most Influential Women On Twitter! Most Successful Women In Wellness! Biggest Women-Run Sustainable Homeware Brands!) and the cover was a no brainer. They just alternated photos of Beyoncé and Malala.

But Harri was haunted by an essay she had commissioned for last autumn’s Success issue. She’d paid well over the odds to get an American megastar author and speaker to write about failure. ‘Failure and success are part of the same weather system,’ it began. ‘Success is no cure for failure. To pursue success without being willing to entertain failure is a little like refusing to accept the seasons. It can’t be August for ever. You can’t go out in the snow in a sundress.’

It was the sort of thing the readers lapped up, but it made Harri itch. She did not believe in failure. She barely believed in winter, often buying herself long haul flights to the Caribbean for Christmas (and offsetting her guilt by giving friends little certificates telling them they had purified a village well or sponsored a goat for a family of four).

Not becoming the editor of Panache had been hideous, shocking, shaming, painful—but Harri had been able to staunch the acid despair by telling herself that The Know would dazzle everyone. It would restore her reputation and hopefully result in a broken and humiliated Will begging her to take her old job back. Not that she would give him the satisfaction of taking it. By that point, she thought she would be able to say something like ‘Sorry, Will, I am leaving for the States, I have just been asked to oversee the launch of the Millennial New Yorker.’ (Harri is aware that she thinks about work revenge far more often than she ever dreams about getting revenge on any of her terrible ex boyfriends.)