Harri knows the rule—never apologise, never explain. Always offer a solution, even if you have no intention of executing it. ‘I’m sure they’re just getting used to the change. I’ll look into it.’ But Mackenzie’s real wrath was reserved for The Know. Of course it was.

‘I’m concerned the explicit content has alienated your international audience.’ Never ‘our’ audience. If it’s negative, it’s Harri’s fault. ‘You’re getting plenty of media attention’—somehow Mackenzie made ‘media attention’ sound like ‘chlamydia’ or ‘tax fraud’—‘but I’m concerned the core product isn’t strong enough. And it’s not glossy. At Hudson, we have a reputation, a certain standard.’ Only now would Mackenzie deign to use the first person. What was this ‘we’? She just got here.

Harri took a deep breath. ‘Our star writer, Imogen Mounce, is doing an investigative piece, attending a Fallen Angels party, and we expect it to be our traffic leader for the month. Imogen’s pieces are consistently huge traffic drivers for us. US readers are making up a quarter of our readership, and a third of all shares. So they’re not just reading, they’re the ones sending these to their friends, posting them on social, making our audience grow beyond all projections.’ Harri is hoping that if she focuses on the numbers, she can impress the Trio of Terror and distract them from asking any awkward questions about what Fallen Angels actually is. Against every bit of her better judgement, Harri starts to think about what it might be like to encounter Mackenzie at an orgy. She’d almost certainly be smooth and cold, like Barbie, only with cashmere nipple covers, and a tweed crotch, a forbidding triangle of Burberry check. Do not enter without a handwritten letter of introduction, in black ink on monogrammed stationery.

Most surprisingly, Mackenzie looked not displeased. Even Lily murmured ‘A very upmarket brand.’ Interestingly, Katie’s cheeks bloomed bright red, and her gimlet gaze fell to the floor.

‘Just make sure the content reflects a certain level of quality. Imogen’s pieces have been rather too,’ she paused meaningfully and menacingly, looking at Harri with some disgust, ‘…too…Lena Dunham for my liking.’ Harri’s response time is hampered by shock. There’s something strange and startling about Mackenzie making any kind of vaguely contemporary reference. Still perhaps it isn’t sex itself that bothers Mackenzie, just the sex enjoyed by anyone who had not attended a Swiss finishing school in 1958. If there is any known orgy etiquette, Mackenzie probably owns the Emily Post guide. ‘The most important penis must be placed to the right of the hostess.’

Harri stumbled out of the meeting feeling confused and disorientated.