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Chapters (64)
  1. Cover
  2. About the Author
  3. Dedication
  4. Chapter One
  5. Chapter Two
  6. Chapter Three
  7. Chapter Four
  8. Chapter Five
  9. Chapter Six
  10. Chapter Seven
  11. Chapter Eight
  12. Chapter Nine
  13. Chapter Ten
  14. Chapter Eleven
  15. Chapter Twelve
  16. Chapter Thirteen
  17. Chapter Fourteen
  18. Chapter Fifteen
  19. Chapter Sixteen
  20. Chapter Seventeen
  21. Chapter Eighteen
  22. Chapter Nineteen
  23. Chapter Twenty
  24. Chapter Twenty-One
  25. Chapter Twenty-Two
  26. Chapter Twenty-Three
  27. Chapter Twenty-Four
  28. Chapter Twenty-Five
  29. Chapter Twenty-Six
  30. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  31. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  32. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  33. Chapter Thirty
  34. Chapter Thirty-One
  35. Chapter Thirty-Two
  36. Chapter Thirty-Three
  37. Chapter Thirty-Four
  38. Chapter Thirty-Five
  39. Chapter Thirty-Six
  40. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  41. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  42. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  43. Chapter Forty
  44. Chapter Forty-One
  45. Chapter Forty-Two
  46. Chapter Forty-Three
  47. Chapter Forty-Four
  48. Chapter Forty-Five
  49. Chapter Forty-Six
  50. Chapter Forty-Seven
  51. Chapter Forty-Eight
  52. Chapter Forty-Nine
  53. Chapter Fifty
  54. Chapter Fifty-One
  55. Chapter Fifty-Two
  56. Chapter Fifty-Three
  57. Chapter Fifty-Four
  58. Chapter Fifty-Five
  59. Chapter Fifty-Six
  60. Chapter Fifty-Seven
  61. Chapter Fifty-Eight
  62. Chapter Fifty-Nine
  63. Epilogue
  64. Acknowledgements

Harri thinks briefly of the last time she’d been waxed, of the man she’d waxed for, and decides she would feel slightly more comfortable considering Giles’ pubic topiary instead. ‘What are you doing, down there, right now? What are the current styles?’

‘Actually, I’m experimenting. Growing it out. It’s a bit stubbly now, but in a few months it will be luscious. The seventies are back, and I’m going to have me a summer of love.’

‘But first, I suspect, a winter of discontent.’ Harri allows herself to smile.

‘This is the trouble, though, with you. You’ve always been married to the job. And now the job wants a divorce and maybe it’s time to go out and meet, you know, a human person. After Andy…’

Harri shakes her head vigorously and splashes her cheap wine down the front of her expensive dress. ‘No, Giles, really—it’s been a long day. It’s been a lot. I can’t—I’ve only got room for this. You can buy me another drink and we can talk about anything but that. Then I’m going to go home, and put my best pyjamas on, and have my last early night for a while. I’m giving myself twelve hours to wallow. Then I’m going to work.’

Chapter Four

The triumph of hope over work experience

Imogen

‘What was the most challenging aspect of the role?’

‘Well, as you know, my character, Jennifer, falls in love with the village baker, and I haven’t actually eaten anything containing flour since 2006, so…’

I’d never even heard of this actress before I was asked to transcribe this interview, but I already hate her. An hour ago, I was in such a good mood. I’d raced into the office, having convinced myself that Harri would be offering me a real job before I sat down. But everything seems tense and strained today, and I feel more ignored than ever. Why do I bother? Why do I keep coming in? I think about it for twenty seconds and come to the depressing realisation that being an unpaid intern on a major magazine is really all I have going for me. It feels like more of a career than ‘casual bar worker’ and ‘temporary factory operative’.

I am so, so hungry. I could eat a bag of flour on its own. Breakfast was, as always, crappy instant coffee from the office kitchen, and I’m not entirely sure what I’m going to do about lunch. I think I can rustle up just enough change for a banana and some instant noodles, but I really ought to do a bit more work before I go outside.