‘It’s very, very casual. I’m not very invested in it.’ In fact, I realise, it’s embarrassing to talk about. Not the casual part, but the whole, sordid relationship. Maybe Sam Strong does like me, in his way. But I hate admitting to Harri that I’ve settled for what he has offered me. Here we are, talking about our careers, and our futures. My passion for writing, and my need to write about passion. Sam Strong isn’t the bad man of my fantasies, he’s a sad man, alone, cynical and unwilling to let anyone in.

He made me feel safe. I’m used to being with people who don’t think I’m worth very much, people who don’t want to give anything away. I don’t think I realised quite how low my self-esteem was until now, as I feel it rise. Bring you with me! If you’ll have me. Harri Kemp, industry legend, thinks I’m worth something. This might be the biggest gamble of her career, and she wants me by her side.

This realisation forces me to ask an awkward question. ‘How will I get paid? Will I get paid?’

Harri screws her face up. ‘That’s the plan. Hopefully sooner rather than later. But I need to be very honest and clear with you—I don’t have any investors yet. So I’m going to be spending every spare minute I have over the next few weeks planning everything out, and I really, really hope you’ll join me. I know it’s a lot to ask. You might not want to do it. ’ Harri tents her fingers, and rests her chin on her knuckles.

‘This would be a full collaboration. Ultimately, we’d be running a business together. I hope that would, in time, lead to big rewards for both of us. If that’s not for you, I’d love to bring you in later, as a staff writer, when we have investors and budget—but I really, really want your ideas, and your brilliance from the start. I don’t want to be your boss. I want to be your partner.’ She’s declaring herself, and there’s only one way to respond. I know it’s impulsive, I know it’s impetuous, and I’m still filled with doubt—but I can’t help myself. I take her hand. ‘I’m in.’

Chapter Forty-Nine

Pretending

Imogen

Harri has sent me back to the office, alone. ‘Right now, we have to be very careful,’ she explained. ‘I’m being extra paranoid, but this needs to be super, super secret. You can’t even tell Louise just yet.’