What? No way! I didn’t want to miss any of the tryout. “I’m fine,” I ground out between my teeth.

“It wasn’t really a suggestion, Daya. Just go take a few minutes. There’ll still be plenty of chances for you to prove yourself.” I needed to prove myself now. When I just stood there, staring at my skates and shifting them forward and back, she added, “Go.”

I finally turned and skated toward the exit, ignoring the looks I knew I was getting from the others. Not bothering to take off my skates, which I realized was terrible for them but was too pissed to care about at the moment, I banged my way out the entrance doors and looked around for something metal and hard.

Spotting some bike racks shaped like rounded triangles a few feet away, I skated to them and looked around to make sure no one else was nearby. I placed my right hand on one section of the rack for stability, and then slammed my left hand down on the cold metal four or five times. But each time I did, instead of relief, my eyes just became wetter and wetter. If this stopped working and I’d just screwed up my chances of making this team, what was I supposed to do?

“Daya?”

I released the metal and stood up. My chest shuddered. I wiped my eyes and turned around. Shanti was standing by the doors, her hands gripping her book in front of her, her face somewhere between concern and shock.

“Are you… okay?”

I didn’t want her here. I cleared my throat. “Yeah—just needed to blow off some steam is all. I’m fine. I’ll be back inside in a minute. Just… need to be alone.” The words felt like marbles tumbling out of my mouth.

“Oh… okay.” She hesitated. “I saw, by the way—that other girl. I know you were just frustrated. I’ll make sure Kat knows.”

“Whatever. Doesn’t matter to me what you do.”

Her head tilted a little. I expected her to turn and leave—like I wanted her to—but she didn’t. Instead her hands dropped to her sides and she walked right up to me, taking me by surprise. I could feel my left palm pulsing.

She looked me so squarely in the eyes I leaned back a little, trying to maintain some kind of barrier between us. “I think it does matter to you.” She glanced down at my hand and added, “Be careful with your body in there. You’ll need it to make the team, you know?” She blinked and swallowed. I did the same. The barrier between us remained, but barely.

She turned and left me to try and reassemble the shield I’d worked so hard to build.