“Uh, yeah…,” I mumble-laughed, suddenly regretting coming back to the table. This is embarrassing. What am I doing?

The girl grinned at Fee. “Yeah—serious hot-dog-eating prowess here,” she added, indicating me with her thumb. “So what’s up?”

“Uh.” I wrestled with my tongue and muttered, “My friend—just wanted another pin. Like this.” I pointed to the pin like a nerd.

“Oh! Cool, cool.” She pried open a smaller box in front of her and rooted around for a pin. Finding one and handing it to Fee, she said, “Two bucks, please.”

Fee paid, all the while eyeing up the girl, then me. I could tell what they were thinking and I was trying to give them as much side-eye as I could muster. My entire body was telling me to get the hell out of there.

Ignoring my attempts, they piped up with, “Hey—my friend here really wants to get a good look at the action—she’s never been to a roller derby before. Think you’d be able to get her into the Crash Zone, by any chance?”

What the…? My face must have broadcast my confusion-slash-irritation, because the girl asked, “You do?” and watched me carefully.

Did I? “What’s the Crash Zone?” I asked. It sounded like it might involve some of the savage action I assumed was part of the package and my interest was piqued, even as I tried to keep that interest from showing too much.

She continued collecting items from the table. “It’s where friends of the teams hang out. It’s right on the floor next to the track, too. Pretty sweet view, if you’re interested in being up close and personal with the players.” She glanced up when she said this last part, and I wondered for the first time if I was actually getting hit on, like Fee probably assumed. She didn’t look gay, but you never knew these days. I probably looked gayer than she did.

The Crash Zone did sound pretty sweet, though. It’d be cool to see the contact up close—to get a sense of how hard the hits really were. Because maybe if they were hard enough, I might have found a new way to collect bruises and manage my shit. To keep all this stuff rising to the surface deep down, where it belonged.

“That sounds all right, actually.”

“It’s better than all right, actually,” she said, still focused on her task.

Okay, Schmarmy McSchmarmypants. Her brief hints of sass were both appealing and annoying. “You could get me in? You sure?”

At this point, Fee squeezed my shoulder and said they were going to get back to Cai. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep your seat warm. Unless you have somewhere else to go”—they winked at me—“in which case just text me to let me know.”