The energy was palpable, and the nerves gathering in my stomach were no match for the fire in my chest. After so many hours of watching and practicing, trying to prove myself, I was dying to get out there and show just how hard I could be, how much pain my body could absorb—how much trouble it could create too. I was going to leave the track with bruises and dole out a few as well. I felt sorry for whoever had to try and get by me tonight.

As we warmed up on the track, it seemed most of the girls from both teams knew one another. They joked and razzed each other amicably as they rolled by or stretched. Even the officials and refs chummed around with each other and the teams. We rookies—Sage, Potts, Grace, and I—clustered together for most of the warm-up, covertly glancing around and taking everything in.

I hadn’t planned on inviting anyone I knew to the match tonight, but Fee had been bugging me about it ever since I made the team, so I felt obligated to tell them at least. They’d already texted me that they and Cai had found seats close to the penalty box so we could all “have a nice visit periodically during the match.” Ha-ha.

I’d looked over and waved at them when I entered the rink. It made me a little more nervous to have them here, but my nerves quickly turned to embarrassment when they held up gold pom-poms and began shaking them back and forth over their heads. I rolled my eyes at them, which just caused both of them to thrash their arms about with considerably more vigor.

I wondered if Bee and Yolanda would be watching, cheering on their granddaughters. I couldn’t ask either granddaughter, though. I hadn’t seen Shanti yet, and I’d been trying not to think about her or about the irritating pangs in my chest. We hadn’t spoken or texted since she’d left my garage three days ago. I didn’t have any plans to reach out, either.

Kat was clearly “in the zone”—and the “zone” was something like beast mode. Watching her skate around the track during warm-up, I was reminded of how in awe I’d been of her that first derby I watched. Her muscles pulsed with a furious energy and the expression on her face was concentrated and stormy, as though lightning might lash out from her eyes at any moment. I told myself I’d match her energy and then some.

As the clock counted down, Lena and Kat called everyone in to our bench. We all had a nice sheen from our warm-up and looked flushed and ready to go.