Keeping my voice firm and steady, I said, “You need to get your fucking hands off me, Kat.” A few people were watching us now, though most were too drunk to notice what was happening.

She met my glare. Her eyes were unsteady, but I could see the surprise in them. “What’d you say?”

“This isn’t cool.” I gripped her hands and yanked them off my shoulders.

She swayed for a moment, but then got her bearings and raised herself up to her full height. Without her skates on, she didn’t seem so intimidating, though. “Looks like you’re not as tough as I thought, Daya. Too bad. Thought you had some real potential there for a minute. Guess you’ll be riding the bench all season.”

Fuck. That was not an option. “What the hell? What does this have to do with how I skate or hit?” I knew having this argument here with drinks in both of us wasn’t helpful, but I couldn’t stop myself. Panic at not being able to play piled itself on top of my anger, and my heart thumped hard and fast. “You know I’m as tough as you. You know I deserve to be out there.”

“I thought I did. But it doesn’t really look that way, does it? Shit doesn’t stop once you’re off the track—it comes at you from everywhere, and you gotta be ready for it.”

Who was she to tell me about shit happening? “I know how to deal with my shit, thanks,” I scoffed. As I said the words, I realized they might no longer be true, and fear joined the thumping in my chest. I tried not to let it show.

“Yeah? We’ll see.” She looked over at Shanti again and then back at me. The cocky expression was gone, replaced by something like disappointment. “But in my experience, opening yourself up just fucks you over. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” She turned and left the room, not even looking at Shanti as she passed by.

She didn’t have to warn me. I already knew what she was talking about.

I glanced at Shanti, who was just staring into the space ahead of her, any remnants of enjoyment drained from her face. I found myself wishing we were back outside in the cool air and laughing like before—and the thought settled my heartbeat a bit. I hadn’t wanted to get into a fight with the most important person on this team or risk my playing time. But I had—all because I’d felt bad for Shanti. It was exactly what Kat was talking about. You risked losing things when you went soft. It was exactly what Thatha had taught me too.

And yet.