I feel a light come on inside my body. I get a glimpse of where to go next. Why couldn’t I have thought like this before? I limp out with Jihyun. We kiss in the elevator. I smell formaldehyde from his lips. He touches my leg. He tells me I need to keep using my crutch after the discharge (which is in a few hours), even if it’s uncomfortable. After he leaves, I turn to face the quiet corridor. The sound of my footsteps reverberates in the air. I catch myself trying not to step on the lines between the square tiles as I hobble. I dunno. What the hell. I’m just following my crutch as it leads me on. Where are you going? Where are you taking me? Are you taking me to the rooftop so I can jump off? Are you going to have me kill myself before I can kill that bastard? Coward. I’ve been asking myself these questions all day. The dark corridor never comes to an end. I stop at the open door with a plaque that reads HOSPITAL DIRECTOR, KIM INJA.

The doctor welcomes me in. “I was about to head out. Sit, sit. Did Jihyun head home?”

“Yes.”

“I was going to talk to you tomorrow, but since you are here now …”

“There’s no tomorrow for me.”

“Hohoho.”

Why is she always so cheerful? I feel small and pathetic. She touches my hair like I’m Juliet Binoche from The Unbearable Lightness of Being, or Mauvais Sang, or Le Rayon Vert. I feel like I’ve known this woman for a long time. I like her short hair, her long legs. I like her voice, her laugh, and her smell … my leg aches.

“Yeoul, Yeoul, Yeoul … Jeong Yeoul.”

“Yes?”

“Yeoul, when your mother was naming you, I was there. I tried to steer her away from the name. I thought it wasn’t a good name for a baby. Yeoul, rapids, the rocky part of the river where the water is rough, is hard to paddle through, and I worried naming you that way would make your life a rough one.”

“What are you talking about? Oh, I see, you’re kidding. Don’t joke about things like that.”

The hospital director hands me a folded piece of paper. “Go to this address.” She says. “The person you miss lives there.”

What? Why is she speaking nonsense? What? … All I hear is static noise, Psssssst. I turn the dial but keep missing the radio signal …