By the time you read this letter, I will probably be in hiding. You won’t find me crashing at a friend’s place or at my parents’ house. I’m tiny, so it’ll be easy for me to hide. Don’t waste your energy, is what I’m trying to say. But don’t worry. We will meet again. I want you to know how much I trust you and love you. I’ll be back for the May 1st festival like nothing happened. I plan to host a gay and lesbian festival. Of course, neither of us is a real lesbian, but … well, what do I know. Are you certain about your sexual orientation? Anyway. I dream of a community that embraces all marginalized minorities—people with various sexual orientations, people with disabilities, the impoverished urban population, sex workers. I hope you also have a dream. There is no such thing as complete despondency.

Don’t overthink your problems at home, don’t blame yourself for the deaths of others. I think you do those things either because you are genuinely dumb, or you have some sort of romanticized masochistic tendency. You’re a little perverted, but I believe you will become healthier. Don’t laugh. Believe me.

I got to know Eunyong thanks to you. I’m a little torn. There are a lot of dangers swarming around her. Sungyun is a serial rapist and a thug. He may have committed theft or murder too. He seems like a psychopath. Don’t get ahead of yourself and put yourself in danger. Be safe.

The sun is rising. I’ve been here all night. I haven’t slept. Whenever I hear someone dragging her shoes as she walks by, I look out, thinking maybe it’s you. The Humanities building has been strangely quiet.

A week from now (March 21st, 3 PM), I’ll meet you there. You know where—the river we went to that day? You don’t seem to get it. Fine. I guess I have to give you a hint: a story with “backbone.” I’ve been speaking in code this whole time. Did you notice? I doubt this writing will fall into the wrong hands, but just in case. I didn’t even use your or my real name for that reason. Do you like the tone I’m writing in? You like Nietzsche. I’m trying to imitate Nietzsche’s tone, or more accurately, I’m writing in a mode of awkward translation. It’s so fun to write like this, isn’t it?

Time to close this rambling letter. I’ll close with a postscript, a quote from Nietzsche.

I’ll wait there. I miss you. Don’t rush.

P. S. Whoever will have much to proclaim one day must long remain silent unto himself. Whoever intends to ignite lightning one day must long be a cloud.