I saw Jacques on the bus home. Instead of running his eyes all over me, he glued them to a spot just past my head. I didn’t mind in the slightest. I drew a line under it and moved on. I could block things out as if they had never happened. I added Jacques and the cold granite, the sliver of moon and the smell of rosemary to my cache and threw away the key.

We were all subdued on the way back to Carncloon; we’d talked and talked and resolved nothing. Britain was at war with Argentina, we were part of Britain and we didn’t want to be; our own little war was ticking away, like a bomb. Lizzie was gloomy that she had had five days to pull Jacques and failed. She snivelled the whole way home.

She was going to ask her mammy if she could have chips and spaghetti hoops and loads of ketchup for her tea in a desperate bid to cheer herself up. I watched her wander off to the housing estate, her red hair swinging from a ponytail making her look even more dejected.

Joe called Dermot Darling from the phone box to pick us up and take us back to the hills. He wanted to get us sweets to pass the time; I didn’t want any. He wanted to step into the Long Lounge; I didn’t want to. He wanted to know if I was alright; I wasn’t but I told him I was. I was standing on the ground right beside him but with an army-issue riot shield between us. His questions bounced off me; I was untouched.

My heart was floating on a salty sea, burning and freezing by turns as it bobbed this way and that. I pulled back from Joe Loughrey and the more he whined the more I wanted to smack him. If only you hadn’t taken your eye off me, I wanted to shout at him, I wouldn’t have ruined myself in a minute.

For once Mammy and her temper proved useful. I said I knew I wouldn’t be able to get out after nearly a week away from chores; I said I’d be under lock and key. I practically tied a bonnet on her head and gave her big eyes and big hairy paws all the better to batter me with. He nodded that he understood.

Dermot Darling finally eased his car over the ramps at the top of the town, all teeth that Joseph was back. He’d been missed; bungalow land just wasn’t the same without him. Mrs Loughrey (Mummy Darling) had made a cake, a cake with chocolate sprinkles to welcome him home sweet home. When I was dropped on the street at The Hill, I stood and waved and waved ’til they were gone then I walked around to the back door and let myself in.

–  Hello, Mammy …