Auntie Eileen does that, laughs when stuff isn’t funny. Might as well, she says, if you don’t laugh, you’d cry. I am not allowed to stay with her because she is a bad influence so she comes to me at The Hill, bold as brass. This is my brother’s house, Sadie, and don’t you forget it, she says.

Their mother, my Granny Moo, could see people walking down her street when they were actually heading straight for St Peter at the pearly gates. Her second sight was so sharp she could have the priest with the dying for the last rites, a sacrament which gets you into the Kingdom of Heaven even if you’ve been bad all your days. You don’t need a doctor because bodies come and go but souls are forever.

I’ve been comparing sins with Lizzie Magee for our First Confession. I’m saying I’ve lied and been disobedient and she’s going to copy me. I’ve not told her the really bad thing in case she copies that too and gets me into more trouble. One day, we’re going to be missionaries and go off out to Africa and save the heathens from themselves so that they get to go to Heaven. Otherwise, their unclaimed souls’ll be wandering about, maybe in some other horrible place like Limbo where all the little babies with Original Sin have to float in the pitch-black nights that never turn back into days.

Pray for Purgatory, says auld Miss Lynch as she twists the chalk until it snaps, when you’re in Purgatory you’re in with a chance but in Limbo you’re lost for all eternity!

4

Daddy takes me into Carncloon for the First Confession. He has to ease the car over the ramps because the Chapel Road is where the barracks is and the ramps are extra high to stop anyone with a bomb in the boot. My big brother Matthew has come with us, he likes to be out of The Hill. His quietness grates on Mammy’s nerves. She’s never done telling him to open his mouth while she tells the rest of us to shut ours. He’s going to wait in the car with Daddy. They both look happy. Mick walks me to the chapel with more advice.

–  Don’t be scared of the box, he says, it’s not totally dark inside and Father O’Brien can hardly see you anyway through the grille. Keep your voice down and just say two sins, that’s plenty.

Mick still feels bad that he didn’t take his fair share of the blame for the S.E.C.R.E.T. He cried a lot when I got sick afterwards. In the end Mammy had to get the strap and that got him stopped. He has a lollipop saved for me for after today’s penance.