“Ohhhhhh,” I said. And then, “Wait. Really? You’re the star quarterback.”

He laughed. “Yeah. That doesn’t necessarily preclude me from being gay. I mean, in my limited experience.”

“Whoa.” I didn’t know how to feel. A little relieved, honestly, that I hadn’t made a total idiot out of myself. A little let down that the boy I thought was my great love could never love me back. But, most of all, proud that he had confided in me.

“So, your mom doesn’t know?”

He shook his head. “And, Iris, you may not tell your mom or Alice or anyone. I just trusted you with my biggest secret, and I do mean trusted. I will not be telling anyone else for a long, long time.”

“But why?” I asked. “They would all be fine with it.”

“Maybe,” he said. “Maybe not. But I can’t risk that they won’t be and that my mom spirals again. Especially now if it’s true that Alice is moving in with Elliott and everything else is changing too.” He put his hands to my shoulders and looked me squarely in the eye. “I can’t move to Tokyo, Iris. I just can’t.”

We both laughed. I crossed my heart and said, “Your secret is safe with me.” I paused. “But… you know I’m kind of a pain in the ass. So we will revisit telling other people later.”

He laughed. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.” Then he groaned.

“What?”

“Please, please tell me that wasn’t your first kiss?”

I debated. Did I lie? But, I mean, he’d just come out to me. I scrunched my nose.

“Oh, Iris. I’m so sorry. That is awful.”

For a moment, I did feel deflated. But then I rallied. “Nope. It’s not bad. Because my first kiss was with the hottest junior guy in the school. I don’t ever have to mention the rest.”

“Good spin. I like it.” He paused. “Plus, I mean, it was kind of a good kiss, right?”

“It was a good kiss,” I agreed.

“If I was into girls, I would have been into it.”

I paused and gasped. “Wait. Is there a guy? Do you like someone?”

He raised his eyebrows at me, and I gasped again. “There is! There’s a guy!”

“He doesn’t know I like him, and I wouldn’t, like, cheat on Sophie. But you know Chris from my third-period English class?”

My eyes went wide. “No way. He’s gay? How do I not know this? Does he like you too?”

Merit paused and put his hands lightly to his chest as if to say, Who wouldn’t like this?

“Right. You’re Merit McDonald. Even a straight man would be attracted to you.”

Merit laughed and put his arm around me, and we started walking toward the house.

“Wait, so that’s all I get? No details?”