PIC 2: High school heartthrob Merit McDonald is looking as draft-pick-worthy as ever at preseason football practice. Is this the season our beloved Marlins win State? More important, is it true that this junior star has snagged the hottest senior girl in school? Stay tuned for Friday Night Lights—and quite likely some fireworks.

PIC 3: Sources say that Alice Bailey has been spending an awful lot of time at St. Mary’s Episcopal Church. Could our own widower Father Matthew be the Black Widow’s fourth… victim? Hold on to your vestments, Father Matthew. It could be a bumpy ride!

PIC 4: The RoséStream in Juniper Shores Village’s Airstream Park is closed for renovations. To all the soccer moms who can’t get through the afternoon without a rosé slush: thoughts and prayers.

Stay tuned for news about which Juniper Shores golden boy has returned to our sun-drenched slice of heaven.

TNT (’Til Next Tide… and maybe a little dynamite!)

JUNIPER SHORES SOCIALITE

Charlotte The Low Point

This was my low point. Even I knew that. Standing in the lobby of Suncoast Bank, saying, in a louder-than-appropriate voice, “But why should I be punished for what Bill did? It wasn’t like I had anything to do with it!” was pretty much the closest to a total meltdown I had come. Three days ago, I’d arrived home from dropping my daughter at tennis lessons to find police cars and FBI swarming the five-bedroom, four-and-a-half-bath cedar-shake beach house that we had just spent two years building. Two years of paint samples and fabric choices with one of the country’s finest designers, flown in from Palm Beach, to give my family our dream home.

And in an instant, it had become a nightmare.

The fact that I was in a bank lobby nearly yelling this at Enid Plyler, who was in her late sixties with short gray hair and had, it seemed, been born behind the loan officer desk at Suncoast Bank, made it even worse.