There they were again. Those explosive butterflies. Merit’s perfect, beautiful face was inches from mine. And I felt like he was testing the waters. He had said my name when he was hurt on the field. He had punched a judge for me. Those things had to mean something. I’m not impulsive by nature, so I don’t know what made me do it. But I leaned in and put my lips on his. I shifted my body toward him, putting my hand on the back of his neck. For a second or two, he kissed me back, and I felt like I was in heaven. So this was kissing. Not bad.

But then he pulled away and said, “Iris,” in a tone, with an expression on his face that made mine blazing hot. I had totally misread this. I jumped up, saying, “Oh my God. I’m so sorry.” Now, instead of running from the house, I was running toward it.

“Iris, stop!” Merit called.

I did not, but, unlike Ben, Merit was way faster than I was. He grabbed my arm. “Stop it right now,” he said.

“I’m such an idiot,” I said, humiliation coursing through every cell.

“No, you aren’t.”

“Of course I am. You have this super-hot older girlfriend, and even if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be into me. I’m just this little kid to you and—”

He put his palm to my mouth. “Stop talking.”

It should have been rude, but it wasn’t. It was Merit. It was soft and gentle and kind and made tears spring to my eyes.

“You are perfect,” he said, his hand still on my mouth. “It’s just that…” He paused for a second, then took a deep breath. “I’m going to say something, and I think it’s going to shock you.”

He stopped again, as if deciding, then dropped his hand from my mouth.

“Iris, can you keep a secret?”

I could feel my eyes widen, and my mind was racing. What could the secret possibly be? I nodded and whispered, “Duh. Beach house rules,” trying to sound cool even though I didn’t feel it.

Merit took a deep breath, then blurted out, “I’m gay.” He said it like he was trying on a sweater, and he wasn’t sure if the sweater fit and maybe he was going to send it back.

I rolled my eyes. “Please. You don’t have to go that far. You don’t have to lie. You can just not like me. I’ll live through it.” I looked up toward the sky. “I think.”

He shook his head, and I was filled with curiosity again. “No, I mean it. I’ve never said it out loud, but I’ve known for a long time.”

My mind flipped back to Sophie’s dumb friend insinuating that Merit wouldn’t have sex with her.