PIC 2: Every queen needs her king, and we are almost positive the actual seas—not just the sea of bodies near the buffet—parted when one Elliott Palmer, clad in the most dashing tux of all, saw Alice Bailey and, for lack of a more refined term, beelined for her. No, it wasn’t yet nine. No, the buffet (we need a more elegant word for this culinary work of art!) hadn’t been cleared. But, with the string quartet playing a truly moving version of Christina Perri’s “A Thousand Years,” he scooped up our belle and led her around the dance floor solo. We think it’s safe to say that the Black Widow isn’t in hiding anymore. In fact, perhaps tonight was her coming-out party.

PIC 3: Word on the street is that our Swans are here on a mission. One of my sources says they are trying to ensnare others in their unhealthy lifestyle and recruit new members of their cult that is an assault on happy families everywhere. If that is true, I’m offended that they, as of yet, have not tried to recruit me. As good as they look tonight, I’d sign up in a skinny second. Ladies, consider this my official RSVP!

PIC 4: Oh, the danger in covering the Belle Epoque is not realizing that the adult drama is way less than half the fun. Our teenagers might be here for service hours, but they are fantastic at also getting caught in the crosshairs. Our senior golden couple—who have made it well over two years together, I might add—are rumored to have called it quits last week. And the passive-aggressive digs at each other are almost too good. No wonder these two are Ivy-bound. They really know how to tear each other down with wit.

PIC 5: This one’s for you, Sophie. You’d better hold on to your man. I won’t say who, but a freshman with plenty of access to everyone’s football hero seems to have caught his eye—and maybe even his hand—a time or two tonight. But we would never, ever stir the pot and say so. Or would we?

TNT (’Til Next Tidbit)

JUNIPER SHORES SOCIALITE

Alice Enough History

“Elliott, I am going to kill you,” I whisper-hissed, stepping away from the party, out onto the sand.

The face that he made was comically horrified. “Never what one wants to hear coming out of the mouth of the Black Widow.”

He smiled at me with that smart mouth of his. Oh, and what a beautiful mouth it was.

“I just wanted to let everyone know that I was here with the most gorgeous woman at this ball.”

“And you thought dancing on the empty dance floor was the way to achieve that?”

“You could have said no,” he said, turning toward me.