“So, how are things going?” Ciara pulls me out of my dirty thoughts.

“They’re good. How’s the writing going?”

“I just finished the latest right before we left, so once edits are done I should be good to publish before the baby comes and then I can take a break.”

“That’s amazing, Ci.”

“Thank you. But let’s not skip over the fact that all you gave me was a ‘they’re good.’ That’s all you got?”

I laugh. “Was I supposed to have something else?”

“You don’t have to. Just saying you can if you want to.”

I think her therapy sessions have been going too well because she’s starting to sound like one. “I, um, called that therapist. I did end up getting referred to a different one, but I started sessions with her this week.”

“Really? Aww, that’s wonderful!”

“Yeah, I think it’s time I shed this extra weight I’ve been carrying in the form of my dad. I’m finally realizing I can’t do it alone.”

“It’s not that you can’t do it alone, it’s that you don’t have to. That was a tough lesson for me to learn, but so important.”

“I’m not fully there yet.”

“That’s okay. Have you had any problems with your dad lately?”

“Not lately. Quiet from that man is never good.” Quiet when there’s nothing going on is one thing because we really never talk unless there’s an issue. But quiet when I know I’m doing something that upsets him? That’s when my anxiety sets in.

“And maybe that’s what he wants is for you to be so stressed about what he’s gonna do that you’re not enjoying your time with Kai.”

“Probably. But that doesn’t mean he’s not also up to something.”

“So prepare for the worst. But let yourself live. Because that is the ultimate fuck you to him.”

Those words stay with me even when the crew comes back and joins us for a round of hot chocolate before we head back to the cabin.

Once we get back, we make a big family dinner and hang out for a little while, but it’s clear everyone is exhausted from their show of athleticism, or lack thereof for some, and the group scatters to their respective bedrooms. I know it’s real when Shane doesn’t even make a joke about helping Simone to sleep.

When Kai and I get to our room, I help him strip out of his clothes then join him in the shower where he makes me come twice before we finally wash our bodies and get out.

I expect him to fall asleep the minute his head hits the pillow but instead he pulls me into his arms and kisses my neck.

“Damn, don’t you get tired?”

“Are you tired?”