“You wanted this. You wanted soccer. You begged me to let you do this because it was your dream; it was all you ever wanted in life so like everything else, I made it happen.” He lifts his hands to my face and I flinch away from him, but his hands still connect with my jaw, lifting my head ever so slightly. “I spent years molding you into the best version of yourself, cultivating your image to aim straight for stardom. I gave you the tools to become a legend, and you think I’m going to let that all go to waste because you couldn’t keep your legs closed to the boy across the street? No. You love to call me the villain of your story, fine, but let’s not forget, I am also the author.”

Strong hands wind their way around my body, one of them gently caressing my stomach. I close my eyes and snuggle into his chest to calm my racing heart. By the time Kai showed up to my room, my father was long gone but his threats still lingered in my head, infecting my every thought.

I should tell him. I should tell Kai what’s going on. He knew something was off the moment he saw me, but I played it off as fatigue, so instead of working on our papers like he came here to do, he insisted we lie in bed and watch The Dark Knight, again, until I fell asleep.

Sleep isn’t coming for me. All I can think about is my dad’s words. No matter how hard I try, I can’t think of a single scenario where Kai and I win. It would take absolutely no effort for my dad to ruin him. And then what? Every time I step out of line, he threatens Kai’s future to shove me back in my cage? Is that any way to live? Me being afraid to make any moves for fear of triggering my dad’s vindictive side and Kai having to look over his shoulder for the simple reason that he chose to love me? Kai doesn’t deserve that. This baby doesn’t deserve that.

“Hey, Kai?”

“Yeah?”

When I look in his eyes, I no longer see the future we envisioned together. The image used to be so clear. Graduation, the draft, the backyard wedding, the opening of his practice, the babies, the World Cup, everything. Now, I just see him flourishing without me while I fade away into the bleak existence my dad has planned for me. He’s right; I begged for soccer. I wanted this. I just didn’t realize the price of having that dream would be giving up the other.

“I just wanted to tell you I love you,” I resign.