Sorry, that’s a weirdly formal way of starting an email, isn’t it? I have to say I’m a bit overwhelmed after seeing you ON THE NEWS with this amazing project you’ve started. It’s amazing. You are amazing. You’ve always been amazing, but this is super amazing. I can’t believe my stupid note has inspired something so huge. And it means so much to me that you’ve been thinking about me too. Honestly, Fern, my fingers are shaking as I type this email. I really hope it’s OK that I’ve got in touch and not read too much into this. I’m scared I’m just desperate and lonely and miss you. Firstly, I really need to say how sorry I am for what happened. For all of it. I don’t know why I do the things I do. I think I need to figure it out though because, the truth is, I’m so unhappy, Fern, and losing your friendship is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. I actually live in America now. Can you believe it? I’ve married this man and we’ve even had a daughter together but nothing feels right. I feel so alone over here. And I thought I was so in love, but my husband is being weird and off, and I don’t have any friends and...fucking hell...sorry... I don’t know why I’m typing any of this. You must think I’m crazy! Honestly, I’ve never had anyone I can talk to, truly talk to, since we fell out, and just feeling able to email you is unleashing all this stuff. I really hope it’s OK that I’ve emailed. How are you? Things look like they’re really crazy right now, but I pray so much that you’re happy. You’ve always wanted to be a writer and now your blog post is EVERYWHERE and it means the world to see you doing all this. Please do write back if you get the chance. I can imagine you’re swamped right now, but I’m happy to wait. Hearing back from you is MY reason to hold on for tomorrow.

So much still needs to be said, I know. But the only words I have right now is I love you and I’m sorry.

Jessica xxxx