BooksBarbecue
Back When We Were Friends
Chapters (52)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise
  3. Dedication
  4. About the Author
  5. 31
  6. 14
  7. 31
  8. 14
  9. 31
  10. 14
  11. 31
  12. 14
  13. 31
  14. 15
  15. 31
  16. 16
  17. 32
  18. 16
  19. 32
  20. 17
  21. 32
  22. 17
  23. 32
  24. 17
  25. 32
  26. 17
  27. 32
  28. 18
  29. 32
  30. 18
  31. 32
  32. 18
  33. 32
  34. 18
  35. 32
  36. 18
  37. 32
  38. 18
  39. 32
  40. 18
  41. 32
  42. 18
  43. 32
  44. 18
  45. 32
  46. 32
  47. 33
  48. 33
  49. 33
  50. Acknowledgments
  51. Discussion Questions
  52. Booklist

I stared at what I’d written—knowing it was true, but also too filled with doubt to send it. My finger hovered over the send button, picturing the mess it would make. Confusion it would cause. The denial, maybe even genuine from Dave. Who knew how he viewed that night at Georgina’s party where he got with the Christian girl who was too drunk to push him off? Did he ever think about it when he saw women marching on the news, or his band members sharing their own #MeToo moments? Or did he truly believe he was one of the good guys? This message was a cluster bomb, and one that was nothing to do with me. I slowly deleted each character until the screen was blank again. Annoyed at myself for not sending it, furious at Dave for his shamelessness. I could see my reflection in my laptop screen, my face scrunched up in rage. I took a deep breath into my stomach and clicked off the website, forcing myself to focus on my Ethical Framework. I needed to drag myself together. To get home in time for the dinner party tonight and pretend I was fine.

Getting lost in the past was a pointless endeavor.

17

february 2003

It took at least a term and a half before I realized Liam Gillingham was staring at me in our English Literature lessons. I was quite certain he just found the wall display behind my head inherently interesting. I mean, this was Liam Gillingham. Possibly the best-looking boy I’d seen in real life, with his green eyes and good hair. When he finally noticed me noticing, he cracked a huge smile across the classroom, nodding, all like “yes, I’ve been looking at you.” And, of course, I fell in love with him instantly. It just kept getting better. He was in a band. He didn’t know Jessica existed, and therefore found me attractive. And, finally, after two weeks of intense eye contact across the classroom, he came over and asked me out on a date. A date. Me. My very first date!

“I’m not sure what’s wrong with him,” I told the girls, who squealed when I told them. We sat in a car park with kebabs on our laps, passing around a spliff. “Do you think he’s had a significant head trauma?”

Jessica rolled her eyes kindly as she took the blunt from me. “Have you considered there’s nothing wrong with him and he just legitimately finds you fit?”

I took a mouthful of shredded cabbage drowned in burger sauce. “Well, it won’t be that.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re gorgeous and smart and mysterious.”